Have a family but lonely

[Hanksy]

Im married with a 3 year old and another on the way but I just feel lonely all the time. I work on my own all day Monday to Friday and my wife works staggered shifts throughout the week from days to evenings so I'm alone with our son most evenings. I have no friends so other than family I have no one to talk to or go out and have a few beers with. I dont know how I can make new friends and don't always give people a chance as iv felt like friends in the past have just used me or put up with me.

I'm assuming you're a man, what about going along to your local Andy's man club or seeing if there is a local 'men in sheds' group near you?

What about a sport, our local running clubs are really friendly and people often go for a drink after a run. Is there a kids footie team you could take your lad to and meet other dads?

Depending on your interests, local photography groups, history, volunteering with wildlife or conservation groups etc

Hard when kids are so young but I found communal hobbies the answer. For me, it’s exercise : Parkrun, ladies running group and CrossFit. You’re there to exercise but you naturally interact with everyone. Friendships take time (my aunt always says it takes at least at least a year of knowing someone before you can think about honestly answer the “how are you” question). Often you don’t really know how much of a friendship you have until adversity hits in some form or other. But companionship is good and helpful too. If you don’t have friends you can rely on then, in my opinion, companionship needs to be the intial aim. Hobby groups will offer that near instantly. If you can’t do in person then online is better than nothing. All the best.

Thanks for the advice. I am male not really a sporty or active person or have the money to spend on hobbies or clubs. But I will have a better look for some groups in my local area. I dont know if im just over thinking things but I did have a really good mate and his family but they couldn't even be bothered to come to my wedding or let me know that they was not coming ( I had to txt them to find out ) it's just knocked me a bit

I’m so sorry to hear that. So so sorry. That’s hurtful. In my experience, It makes you have to reframe your whole relationship with someone in your mind when they do that.. I only have one real friend from before I’m mid thirties as everyone I thought I was close to did some version of that. Something happens that hurts so much it cannot be ignored and I found I would realised while relationship was littered with milder but significant moments where they treated me unkindly.,It was decades ago now most of them but some example still burns. Especially when it was family.

You have a need that needs to be met and currently it’s not being met. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a legitimate need though even if some people you thought would meet it chose not to.
Parkrun is 9am on Saturdays, ifs free and you can take the kids. You don’t need to be sporty, you can walk if. Some courses are more buggy friendly than others. If you want to go on your own and don’t want to run or walk you can Marshall. They’ll show you the ropes and if immediately makes you part of the event. If you want a record of your time you need to sign online and get a bar code but that is essential to do,

Have you also considered self referral to NHS counselling service?

I think someone else mentioned it. There is definitely a men’s mental health walking group that advertises itself on our town Facebook page. They regularly have 10-12 men each week. They sometimes post photos of the group on the page but the numbers in the photo are always lower than the number who attend so some must choose not to in the photo.