Please dont jump down my throat about it.. because I already feel so useless. I am 26. Pregnant with No.3 and I am autistic.
Because of previously being a victim to DV from my ex and having Autism.. Midwives sent a referral for Social to assess me (we havent done anything wrong! I swear! Its all to do with ensuring I & new Partner have the right support)
Tomorrow is the Pre-Birth Assessment and I cant help but panic... thinking Ive done wrong.. like being on trial for a crime I didnt commit. My partner is constantly telling me 'we will get through this', 'youre recovery is coming on so well', but I cant help but feel like theyre just gonna work against me..The ex has had 2 more kids since I left, and hes managed to keep them.. I am petrified that this assessment is gonna be hammered against me because of being Autistic. I dont know what theyll say or do.. but I am absolutely petrified that theyll look at me and say 'being Autistic makes you incapable' ... oh jeez... the fear!
- I got a new Home, with my current Partner of 3 years.
- Finances are fixed from when Ex put me in debt..
- Better support networks now compared to then...
- Ive accepted support from Mental Health.. always have..
And I still dont feel like itll be enough for them to be satified... 😭
I just dont know what to say or do.. apart from.. 'its not enough, until they say its enough'
Ive heard many people say people with disabilities cant be good Mums... but am I really a bad Mum because of a issue I can never resolve? If there was ever a cure for Autism.. I'd take it in a heartbeat!
Thank you - please be nice ❤️