Depression or something else?

[coco111]

I've always been quite an anxious person but the last 3 weeks have been so hard. I feel weird. Not myself at all and just genuinely really sad. I keep telling myself it will pass but it's not. I can feel okay in the morning but then come lunch time I just want to cry and not stop. I have 3 children and I keep having intrusive thoughts that I'm going to harm them and then I feel like a terrible person for having the thoughts and it's just a vicious circle. I know I would never hurt them but why are these thoughts in my head. My youngest just turnt one and I did feel pretty shit the first few weeks of her life but then I felt ok. I just feel like I'll never be happy again. My brain never relaxes at the moment, it's like that 20 million tabs open and all the thoughts. It's a really horrible feeling.

Please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and thinking. Intrusive thoughts are disturbing because you know you'll never act on them (and your doctor will know this too) but you don't need to live with this level of distress; there is help available and you deserve it.

Burn out maybe, speak to GP and get some medication first of all even if temporary
I've started taking medication for anxiety constantly in fight or flight I feel so much more like myself and have laughed so much over this last month even with stressors

Thanks so much for your replies. I was wary about medication only because I'm still breastfeeding and to be honest way with you I've not spoken with anybody about how I'm feeling and I guess that would mean admitting something is wrong. I've mentioned to my partner I'm a feeling myself but I don't think he fully understands the seriousness and kinda makes a joke out of it which doesn't help. I guess I feeling guilty for feeling like this.

If you had a broken leg or an ulcer you wouldn't feel guilty. There's absolutely no shame (quite the opposite!) in asking for help when you need help.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way it sounds overwhelming, especially with so much on your plate. Intrusive thoughts can be really distressing, but they don’t define you or your intentions. They’re often just a reflection of anxiety, not who you are. It’s so important to be kind to yourself right now and know that you’re not alone in this. Reaching out to a doctor or therapist could really help ease your mind and provide support to get through this. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. ❤️

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Intrusive thoughts can be so distressing, but having them doesn’t make you a bad person it shows how much you care. It sounds like you might be dealing with postpartum anxiety or depression, and you don’t have to face this alone. Please reach out to a healthcare provider or therapist they can help you feel like yourself again. You’re a loving parent, and it’s okay to ask for support. This will get better with the right help.