Support Thread for Adult Survivors of Sibling on Sibling Violence

[Keleshey]

I am 40 years old and suffer PTSD, depression, anxiety and body dysmorphia as a direct result of sibling-on-sibling violence. I have always felt so alone but seeing comments on here from people who have been through the same/similar has made me strangely feel comforted, like, maybe there are people who understand what I've gone through (and continue to go through).

Conversely, reading other comments that are dismissive of our experiences of sibling-on-sibling violence has made me spiral a little (maybe a lot). I have to admit I've been drinking today, something that I wouldn't usually be doing at this time in the afternoon so my apologies if my typing/writing is a little 'off'.

I don't know what I'm expecting from this thread but I think it would just be helpful to have a little support group from people who have lived it. I think sibling-on-sibling violence is very specific in the way it impacts us, whilst comparable to other forms of domestic violence it's not quite the same because we have the lack of autonomy as well as having the feelings of being let down by the adults around us. That is not to say that other forms of DV aren't quite so bad (I've lived DV in relationships too so I'd never be dismissive of those experiences), but it does have a 'uniqueness' about it compared to other forms of violence in general? (that's the best I can explain it and I have a tendency to over explain so I'll leave it there).

I really hope we can build a good little support group here where we can share our experiences or the struggles we are currently experiencing as a result. 💐

When did the violence happen OP? Is it still ongoing?

A long long time ago. I'm 40 now, the bulk of it ended when he was removed by the police when I was 16 but the after effects still linger.

is this a response to the mother of the disabled child trying desperately to protect ALL of her children?

OP I am sorry this happened to you.

I am so accepting of the fact the mother in question is absolutely doing her best to support all of her children. This thread is for those whose parents weren't so accommodating and for those who may be triggered by the other thread. It has absolutely broken me today and I figured I may not be the only one so started this thread for support.

that's OK there were posters on that thread who appeared to be blaming that mother. That's NOT ok because she was absolutely doing her best under the cirucmstances for all of her children.

I wish you the best for this thread.

I completely agree. The fact she had even reached out for help is a step above what many of us have experienced. It is a very difficult balancing act, one I would not wish on anyone but the OP appears to be handling it very well under extremely difficult circumstances. My post is not as a result of the OPs post but rather a result of some of the comments that are extremely dismissive of other peoples experiences of living with a sibling who has violent tendencies. The other thread, as far as I can see, is more about the struggles of the child who has some kind of disability, this thread is for those who suffer the fall out from that.

You don't have to live with the after-effects; trauma from decades ago can be resolved - you don't forget that it happened but you can remove the emotional connection to the events.