What helplines are there for friend with mental health issue?

[Lucybeary]

I've just called a friend I haven't chatted to since last year, no animosity, just our busy lives. She's very depressed, relationship has broken up, house in a mess, her children are now grown and moved away so I'm not worried there. Worried about her. She said she's been like this for a while and 'no one can help.' She's hundreds of miles away from me which isn't helping but she said if I was near I still couldn't help, she's overwhelmed and her nearby friends easily get overwhelmed with her too. Her biggest problem from the sounds of it is she's isolated, her kids are far away, her partner has left and she is struggling to do everyday tasks. She was always a bit chaotic but fine when she lived near me, had a lot more friends here. Her life worked. It doesn't sound like it's working now. I have called up 2 of her prior friends from here but I don't know if it's me that worries too much, they seem to be more focused on their own lives and don't seem concerned. Neither said they would call her. I'm just wondering if there are support helplines for mental health I can suggest to her or whether there are services that she could get in just to help her get back on top of things.

You are a good friend OP. Do you know what she has tried already if anything? Has she seen her GP, tried ADs or any talking therapy? Does she have the funds for private therapy or would she be reliant on NHS and charities?

Does she work?
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Thanks, yes she works, she's a hard worker, if not a bit too driven, but she's increasingly chaotic and I am worried about bipolar. I don't know if I'll get her to look at the website, she's a little bit in crisis in that she'll say she has no time, too many things to do that she's already not coping with. I'll have a look myself.
I was thinking about practical support with cleaning, tidying, as well as therapy or coaching. Is social services the only port of call or where else to look? I don't think she needs social services, she needs a few good friends but we are all having our own problems at the moment and we are a distance away. She moved away with her partner and now they've split.

Thanks, she's not one to stick with things. She's going to psychiatry appointments but it seems like the psychiatrist is not that worried. Told her she has adhd and to call social services to get help with house work etc. She's afraid of that, thinks it means she's 'going downhill.' So I was wondering about other services, maybe a decluttering service, cleaner or mental health support line etc. She seems to be more upset that she's not achieving an organised life than emotional need and says there's no time 'for talk.'

That’s great that she has a psychiatrist but that does indicate that she is quite seriously unwell.

It sounds like she has lost hope and I can identify with that. I have found that my therapist has been a great support with helping me deal with the basics of life like sleeping, eating and organising life admin so maybe she could find similar help from a therapist. It is a help just to have regular contact with someone with the time and experience to help. She can look for a qualified therapist on the BACP website if she is able to afford the weekly fees for it. If not, then maybe she can self refer to NHS talking therapy or get her MH team to refer her.

Good luck.

Helpful, thanks Pickandmixmood

Originally she was referred to a psychiatrist only because she wanted to give ritalin a try. The GP said it had to go through a psychiatrist. That was about 3 years ago, now off ritalin, to be honest I don't know what's been done to help really. When she originally went to the psychiatrist she was not like this. I don't think the pandemic etc helped. I'm overwhelmed with my own stuff but it does seem they have not got the message that she needs help so I will suggest therapy, but the way she is atm, she won't seek it out, she will say she isn't focused enough to sort it.

I wonder, is it such a bad thing to have social services get involved? I really think my friend just needs practical support (at least to start with) to get herself back on track and then will be fine because she is very driven otherwise. I don't know, I don't want her to be labelled as less able than she is, she's very able. I just wish she was here near me and a couple of other friends as we could do some visits and just help her out for a bit.

@Pickandmixmood can you explain what you mean by this please?

That’s great that she has a psychiatrist but that does indicate that she is quite seriously unwell.

does this mean something specific? I thought a psychiatrist is a generic term that includes therapists, counsellors etc that doesn’t indicate serious mental illness

She could try Hub of Hope to see what support is available in her local area.

She can talk to he Samaritans, they are available 24/7 and try BACP for a therapist.

There is some information here from Mind on ADHD and mental health which includes resources. She could also contact Rethink who have a good mental health helpline.

She could employ a cleaner to help with the housework if she's struggling and maybe someone to declutter if that's a problem.

@anonymousess A Psychiatrist is a Doctor who is a specialist in mental health. If someone has regular appointments rather than a one off, or series of one off assessments it is an indicator that they have a serious condition that requires regular monitoring.

I don’t know anything about Social Services myself but it sounds like it may be worth having a conversation with them to see what they can offer or would suggest. They might be able to recommend carers who could help your friend for a short period to enable her to regain more control of her own life.

Good luck, she is lucky to have such a kind and caring friend.

Yea, I think you can book a private psychiatrist appointment with a provider such as the Priory. When I did that a few years ago you didn’t need to be referred by your GP but it may be different now.
It costs about £300-400 for an initial assessment and then it would be up to you if you proceeded with their recommended treatment privately or not.
My Priory psychiatrist has been amazing and has saved my life when I was suicidal.
Good luck

Thank you so much @Pickandmixmood

Thanks. It's amazing how many so called friends disappear when people need support. My own life is overwhelming right now but it would be more stressful for me to abandon her than it would be to help.