Worried my life will never get better - help please

[ScaredAndHopelessAboutLife]

I’m 32 and my life seems barely worth living. I struggled a lot with mental health in teens and 20s so I don’t have any house, car, etc. I have a first class degree which I got when I just gave birth, and I got a PGCE last year. I’m a single mother to a 2 year old - I love her to bits and she’s the only reason I am living right now. But I’m worried I’ll never be able to give her what she needs - I don’t have my own place, living in my Mum’s small cramped house, sharing a bedroom with my daughter, I’ve tried council housing but they won’t consider me as I have a roof over my head, rents are too much for me right now - I can only work part time at best. I’m doing supply teaching but work isn’t that good atm, I have lots of debt and I’m deep in overdraft at the best of times. I just want a life that is worth living for and for my daughter to be comfortable. Can anyone make any suggestions of steps I can take? Any part time jobs I could do instead of what I’m doing right now? I feel so encompassed by darkness. I’m on antidepressants but only been on a week and don’t seem to be working. I’ve not done anything I’ve enjoyed this past week after falling into a deep depression which seems to be getting worse. Trying to be positive but I feel so stuck and that I’ll never have the things everyone else around me seems to have. I consider myself a failure and nothing brings me joy at the moment.

I know the feeling of not enjoying anything. That’s hard. The antidepressants should help, though. A week is too soon to see improvements. When I started mine I’m they took about seven weeks to kick in, and after that time my life became SO much better. Definitely stick with them and expect improvements.

I would also recommend you get clear on what sort of life you’d like to live. If you’re feeling uncertain about what you want then you’ll be floundering a bit. Brainstorm on paper what you’d like, and then you can start taking steps to slowly create it. You are still very young and your life is just beginning.

Hopefully someone will come along on here soon and offer advice about housing. I’m sure you’d be entitled to something, somehow.

"I just want a life that is worth living for and for my daughter to be comfortable"

Hello, I just wanted to say that your daughter has everything she needs; a roof over her head, and a mum who loves her, food in her tummy. Honestly as long as she has those things and some fun times (going to the park, swimming occasionally, having a tea party picnic on the floor for dinner) then she has a great life.

Things won't be this way forever. When she's at school you can up your hours and get a permanent teaching job. You have an amazing achievement getting your degree and a PGCE, I am proud of you and you should be of yourself! Plenty of years ahead to build a decent career.

I'll PM you about your housing situation. Just remember everything is short term.

Can you start some hobbies slowly? When DC was a baby and I was a single parent I taught myself how to crochet from YouTube videos. I made a massive patchwork blanket that is still used daily now, in hindsight an almighty project to start with 😁but it was easy and enjoyable. You can do a granny square blanket, where you make lots of individual squares then sew them all together at the end; each square takes about 10-15 mins so you can crochet one up whenever you get little snippets of time. I also enjoy doing diamond painting which you could do when she naps or sleeps, I get them from Shein, never pay more than £2 and don't get any bigger than 30x20 and I really enjoy doing them with a podcast on. Same with cross stitch.

I was you 10 years ago and now I have a lovely house. I remember those long nights wondering how things would ever get better, but they did and they will for you. Promise.

You actually have a life many would envy op - you have a lovely daughter, a roof over your heads and love. You are educated with potential to progress and you are fed and warm! Things might not seem perfect now, but in a few years you could be somewhere very different. You certainly aren't a failure and I can guarantee your daughter thinks you are the most wonderful mummy in the world!
We didn't have much money growing up, we were pretty poor. My parents lost our house in the negative equity issue in the 80s and we never had holidays or went out etc. DM carries immense guilt over our upbringing- but my DB and I think we had the best childhood ever! We were absolutely loved, they used to play with us and take us for endless walks. I used to go with mum on her cleaning job which was a wonderful adventure, and the allotment they fed us from wasn't an essential source of food, but some lovely family haven. We didn't see the lack of presents at Christmas, we remember the family bring around us and the happiness.
To us as kids it was idyllic. Children actually want for very little, and very rarely is it material in nature.

I have sone of the things you seem to aspire too (helpful husband, well paid full time career-job, own home, car etc) and life with a nearly 2 year old can still often feel like a treadmill. We get up, we run out the door to work/nursery, I pick her up, we come home, play/dinner/bedtime. At weekends, we get up and do park/town/library with maybe the odd trip out or visit to friends/family.

It feels so ... stuck in groundhog day? And like my horizons have closed in. But I know it won't last forever.

I'm not suprised you feel as you do with the extra challenges of single parenthood and challenges in your 20s. However, those "things" you think you've failed to have to make a "nice life" for your daughter are not the cure for feeling a bit trapped! You've also got an excellent foundation in your degree and PGCE to move on from thus phase as your daughter gets older.

I think another poster is right to suggest hobbies. And to think about what could make your life feel more exciting or fulfilling NOW, in your current circumstances.

Your life is absolutely worth living.

You've achieved great academic success, you have a daughter and a place to live.

I second the poster who advised you to think about what you'd like life to look like.

See if you can divide life into sections:

• Home
• Work
• Family
• Friends
• Spirituality

Any other areas.

Then think about realistic steps you can take.

Keep counting your blessings and the good things you do have as this will give you strength.

You are 32. Your life is totally worth living :)