Feeling everything is a threat since children?

[Pumpkinpie890]

No idea if this is mental health, but I just want someone to tell me they have experienced the same. :(

I have two under two.

Since my first born, my anxiety has been through the roof. But all around my children.

High anxiety something will happen to them, complete spiralling if they get sick, perceived threats and that they will get hurt in others care.

But also that I'm not good enough. I see everyone as a threat, that they are all judging me, thinking I'm not good enough. Absolute terror that someone will take my children.
If they cry, I panic the neighbours will report me for them crying. If i look tierd I'll be reported for not coping. If the toys are on the floor that I'm not clean enough.
If I cant get them in the carseat everyone is in the carpark thinking I'm awful.

I'm finding this worry absolutely debilitating. I'm sleeping 3 hours a day. Going days without eating as I try and keep up with the perfection so noone will come for my kids. 😅

If people stop talking to me, I think it must be because they think im awful. If someone tries to help, I automatically panic and think it's because they think im doing it all wrong.

This terror is suffocating me. I am so hard on myself, if I get flustered over a toddler tantrum, I berate myself for days hashing out all the reasons they will take my kids, because they saw me stutter, or if anyone sees me cry.

It's ruining my life :( I want to laugh with my kids without panicking how I'm being perceived by Karen on the bench, I want to deal with a tantrum without thinking the passersbys have their clipboard out to decide if I pass the test.

I'm convinced my neighbours think I'm a bad mum, and the surgery..everyone really 😅

I have never loved so hard and so much and I find it terrifying. I did have a very hard start with my first. (Neonatal, almost lost her, then again at 6 months when she got sick, and my second had fits)

Hey, I had this. You are not alone.

Firstly well done for recognising it. I suffered in silence for 2 years before reaching out when I was on the verge of a complete breakdown.

Secondly, please reach out to someone on Monday. In my area you can self refer to CBT, have a look on google. Type your area and then “well-being services” into google and see what comes up. Post partum mothers are often fast tracked. Otherwise make an appointment with your GP and tell them how you’re feeling. I truly wish I had done this sooner rather than letting this anxiety suck out any enjoyment from my children’s early years.

It honestly can get better and you won’t always feel like this, but you do need to ask for proper help 💖

I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling, it’s such a tough time.

There are extraordinary biological, psychological and social changes in becoming a mother, and we don’t appreciate that enough in society. Our threat responses become more active - to protect our offspring - but can become really unhelpfully active!

You may find Matrescence by Lucy Jones a good read/listen.

As the previous poster said do speak to your GP, they can prescribe an SSRI to help with anxiety and refer you to talking therapies. This is usually CBT based and is very effective. You also should be prioritised as you have young children.

Also these pages might be helpful:

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/perinatal-anxiety/