Feel like I’m failing at everything

[Cocteautwin6]

Not sure where to put this so it’s going here…

I made the (prob unwise) decision to start reducing my sertraline on Monday. I’ve been on 25mg a day for about a year (50mg prior to that) but have no sex drive so really want to try and get off it.

Today was hard - my manager’s manager found a minor issue with my work and took me and my line manager to task. It felt somewhat unnecessary but this is the style of management at my work unfortunately - bit of a toxic culture.

On top of this my 3yo son keeps saying he ‘prefers daddy’ and doesn’t like me. We think this is because Dad has recently got a WFH job so is seeing more of him. He said this today at pickup and I had to conceal my tears driving home.

I put a lot of effort into work and am currently pushing myself to apply for more senior roles. But when my son says things like this, and when I mess up at work, I feel like I’m failing on all fronts. I wonder why I waste so much energy on work when it takes energy away from my son. I am hyper focussed on getting a better job but often ask myself at what cost? (My backstory is I lost my job when I was pregnant and have been trying to work myself back to where I was in the three years since..)

It’s probably the effects of having less sertraline in my system but just wondering how anyone has managed to get through periods like this. It feels impossible to get off this drug.

Hi Op,

I agree that it can be very hard (I’m on it and haven’t tried to ween off but sex drive would also be my downside).

I don’t like the sound of the toxic work culture. Are you applying for more senior roles in the same company or a new one? Do you need the money? I think given your son is only 3 whilst it’s good to have a job being career focused too heavily might make it difficult to keep a balance. Going part time would be ideal.

I think children do say things like that and I know it’s hard but I would try and not let it get to you. Maybe just make sure you are getting some bonding time just you two to play a game.

Thankyou @Squiggles23 - really appreciate it.

I’m applying for jobs elsewhere. They want us in the office 60% in this job too which is rubbish - I’ve been mainly remote before now. I did go part-time for 6 months but they wanted me back FT due to workload..

Lovely advice re: my son. I’d actually calmed down and done bath time and a puzzle after posting which was lovely. I just feel like work is stealing my precious time with him which is such a downer. Hopefully it’ll get better soon!