Severely depressed at 10 weeks pregnant…

[Bambamxx]

Hi all,
just looking for some advice really and to see if anyone is in a similar situation.

im currently just a little over 10W pregnant with baby #3. I do already have depression, anxiety and BPD which have all been diagnosed to me years ago.
im on quetiapine and sertraline for my MH.
I understand pregnancy hormones can cause you to feel more emotional than normal but this really doesn’t feel like being ‘a little bit more emotional’.
Im CONSTANTLY crying infact sometimes sobbing uncontrollably over things I feel like I have no control over. I’m constantly worrying about how I will cope once the baby arrives. I literally ‘can’t be bothered’ to go out and do anything I would usually enjoy like shopping or meeting up for a coffee with a friend (which I know would help me a lot). I’m not working at the moment either so once my 2 DC are at school I’m just a vegetable on the sofa, crying, watching tv or lying in bed waiting for the children to come home.
DP works nights so evenings are long and lonely and although he knows how I’m feeling he tries as much as he can (taking on most of the housework tasks at the moment).
im also getting crazy thoughts of thinking the current DC would be better off with their father (they’re both from my previous relationship) and also thinking I shouldn’t be here anymore.

my midwife has sent a referral to the perinatal MHT but not sure what they can do and if they can help. Feeling very lost, lonely and sad. I’m excited about a little baby again now the other 2 are older but I just currently feel like life isn’t worth it at the moment….

If it’s any help, I suffered pregnancy depression. Both pregnancies. I realised I was pregnant with baby two when I woke up feeling unbearably crap. I would have terminated had I not known that it was a much loved much wanted baby I was carrying.

Hormones are the pits.

I’m glad you’ve sought help. Take everything they offer. They only offer what you need.

I was exactly the same. If anything it just got worse throughout the pregancy. The moment she was born, it all lifted and I felt fine again.

When I was pregnant I had absolutely horrendous anxiety. I can’t even say the shit I made up in my head. I had to keep presenting myself at hospital before anyone helped me but they did in the end. I ended up on sertraline and something else which I can’t remember the name of sorry but you do sound like I was so keep asking for help. Hugs. It’s awful

Sending u so much sympathy, I suffered PMD after the birth of my second child and felt exactly like u, extremely depressed, anxious, tearful all the time and didn’t see the point in anything anymore… I was referred to the perinatal team and they were amazing! I hope the one in your area is as good as mine as the support they gave was what helped pull me through in the end. Under their care I saw a psychiatrist, I had one to one time with a dedicated nurse and various other forms of emotional and physical support. I remember feeling like there was no light at the end of the tunnel but I promise u there is. Wishing u so much luck xxx