Hi..
im new here and haven’t got support really around me, I’ve suffered with mental health since being 15. I grew up quite distant from my parents due to mom being a big drinker and dad getting remarried and having new children. I was mostly with my grandma who is no longer here..
over the past few weeks I’ve felt quite emotional but really sad. My partners mom is great and has our little one once every few weeks overnight for a little break. I’ve always felt like distant from my partners family I find it quite hard to show love a lot to others other than my daughter. I struggle to communicate a lot due to anxiety, She says I’m her daughter in law etc but we don’t hug or anything like that. recently theres been a new arrival in the family and my little one was super excited when she got back from my partners moms as they’d been on about the new arrival being a few days away. Partner got some photos which we showed little one she was proper happy wanted to see etc I was happy too until all the social media posts came on and how they was hugging and super happy how it’s the best thing on earth, I felt super upset not just for the social media it was for my little one I felt like she’d just been forgot. She had been talking about wanting to see etc but everyone else went over and we didn’t have one message. I then started thinking back to when I had my little one and how I didn’t have a mom or dad in the room I had my Mil who again was amazing and helped me so much I just didn’t get any hugs or anything and again seeing it online hurt me makes me think why am I not so loving to want to hug? My mom never reached out my dad usually visits 2 times a year at Xmas and birthday.. I tried reaching out he ignored me many times. My partner is amazing I’ve spoke to him about it and he sees it as in they do only bother when it suits them but I feel so hurt knowing I dont have anyone really other than my partner. I’m currently going through diagnosis for ibs which hasn’t helped as some mornings I struggle for the school run and not having anyone to message or help really gets to me. I have no one else to really speak with and wondered is it my mental health playing my mind or is it just me being a jealous brat who can’t see others happy?