Siblings/friends emigrating

[FranMay]

Hello
Has anyone been in a similar situation to me, with a close sibling or friend emigrating overseas. Am currently not coping well with the prospect of my sis (and Aunt to my 2 dcs) going to Oz with her fiance. I'd really appreciate hearing how anyone else coped/copes! I just feel we're going to be out of each other's lives from now on and the loss of cousins etc. for our kids. Thanks, just feel very sad.

Hi,

BIL and SIL just emigrated to OZ a few months ago. She was an Oz national, he a Brit. We weren't that close when we were in this country, so not really the same situation. Do you have Skype? My MIL uses this a lot to speak to them and tbh she prob speaks to them more now than she did when they were in the UK. I know it is not the same though.

Oh pet I feel for you. DH, DS and I are on the other side of the coin and are moving to Oz in June. I'm getting to the really tearful stage now.

Have you spoken to her about why they are moving? I'm hoping it is to better their lives (as it is with us), and it may help you to remember that.

It will be difficult, there's no getting away from that but:

• It's only a flight away
• You can phone/email/skype
• Your communication may increase with the distance (absence make the heart go stronger?)
• Oz is a great location for holidays
• Cousins could be penpals

Nothing else to say

In the last 3 years our 6 closest friends have gone to the Falklands (never going to get there, £1600 each), Dubai & Tennessee (taking our 2 goddaughters with them, swines). They aren't family, but they are close. Or maybe they're not & they've all just had to get away from us.....Fnar.

So, you stay close by being one of the few people that remembers to send birthday & christmas cards in good time (it's real easy to forget). It costs lots to send gifts overseas, but we have a system where every b'day/Christmas, their parents wrap a gift from us/them, (we do the same here) so that we save on the postage but the children still have a parcel from someone on the other side of the world. You have a PC, so get a Skype set up from Aldi or Lidl for about £10 & stay in touch.

Get onto moneysavingexpert.com for cheap international calls if you don't fancy the Skype. I think it's on Utilities. Tonight i've spoken to the US for 1p a minute & the UAE for a bit more, but if it's your family going all that way then they might be quite keen to speak to 'home' & call you back.

I don't know how it is for a sis to go, but maybe if you show willing she'll be so grateful. You're worried, you get to stay home, she's going a gazillion miles away............

And she's going for a good life for her babies - I'm jealous. x

My sister moved to Australia in 2000. She came back a couple of years later, though! so it might not be forever. In the meanwhile, at least the world is a smaller place than it used to be, technology makes up for a lot and your DC will be excited about using a webcam to talk to their cousins.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I do feel a bit better now. My sister hasn't got any kids yet so I'm feeling sad in advance because I won't be there when she does have some. They're moving because her fiancee comes from that part of the world and was just in Europe temporarily when they met. I'm resolved to try not to let my emotions get the better of me. At the moment, it's even hard to see them because it just reminds me they are going and I get upset. But that's just stupid because we ned to see them as much as we can before they go. Part of me knows I'm being selfish for feeling like this. They are so made for each other and just trying to find somewhere they can settle and have a family. So I am going to try harder to look on the bright side.... also it seems so hard to travel to Oz now with 2 small children and no money to pay for anything except the mortgage!! But if I'm optimistic, then that might change in time...

franmay, my sister lives in the states, and i haven't seen her in almost 3 years . She moved before we all had kids. It is hard, i have never met 2 of her children. She regualrly sends photos and we do talk most days. My children speak to her kids on skype too. She's still very much part of our lives even though she's over there. It just really guts me that we cannot afford to travel over there with our kids very often.

I'm gutted that i can't be part of her childrens' upbringing, but we all make choices - and her's is to live over there. I often think of emigrating to australia, for the lifestyle but after seening how lonely she gets and seeing how upset my family are that there is "one of us" missing, i don't think that i could take my parents only other grandchildren aways from them.

The day my sister went to Australia I sort of grieved for her. It still makes me well up when I think of it.
But she has made a great life there and she does come over quite regularly (she has been very successful, has her own company and does a great deal of flying, so gets frequent flier points)
We have long phone conversations every week, and my DS does recognise her, which is lovely.
I have NEVER seen her off at the airport again, though, I couldn't bear it. We tend to go out somewhere and then say goodbye, it seems more normal, everyday.

My best friend who I have known for 22 years is emigrating to oz soon and I feel like crying everytime I think about it especially this week because there house has just been sold so it could only be a matter of weeks before she goes. I want time to stop still and spend as much time with her as possible I really don't know how I am going to cope. Sorry not much help but I just keep reminding myself that I will see her again, can't type much more I have started crying thinking about it

poor you snowhite - that struck a chord with me as i'm looking into moving our family to oz aswell. But the thought of leaving my 3 really great friends, who are always there for me makes me so sad. No advise just sympathy

In the space of 18 months, our closest friends moved to Thailand, Canada and Brazil. Even if we could afford to visit 1, we could certainly not go to all 3! Technology (skype) is great and helps lots Also, it's been lovely to receive exotic parcels for ds with exciting stamps, so some benefits. Things change, and it's but you can stay close.