Anxious to stay at my parents house

[KristyG]

Looking for some advice and support about an issue I have which will seem strange to many. I have always been a bit awkward about staying the night in places aside from my own home even from a young age I would avoid sleepovers. I’m now 28 and moved out of my parents house 6 years ago and now live an hour away but just can’t bring myself to stay the night when I visit. I lived in that house very happily for 22 years and had a brilliant childhood. My dad passed away almost 6 years ago but I am still very close with my mum and see her regularly, I can tell she is slightly hurt but also confused as to why I won’t stay. I feel terrible about it and even my friends can’t understand why I won’t stay and then be around to spend more time with everyone instead of long drives there and back. I’ve put this up as I’m looking for suggestions on why I have this anxiety and any suggested techniques as I hate being this way. I even tried to stay in the house myself when my mum was on holiday recently and left after 2 hours. Thank you

I am like this and it's because I feel safe in my own home. I have all my things, my pets and children, it is my safe place that I've built.

I also had a good childhood but don't stay with my parents as it's not my safe place anymore. I do stay away but rarely and I have to build myself up. Maybe I'll get over it one day but I don't feel I miss out, I still see people and go away but feel safer at home.

Are you anxious about the safe home you've left being unoccupied/unprotected without you in it, or is it being vulnerable (asleep) whilst not in your own home?

Are you able to go on holiday or stay in a hotel?

Good questions.

I'd add - do you think there's any link with your father's death, given the timeline you describe? Also are you happy to have other people stay at your house?