I put her down really roughly on the sofa in frony of DH and DD1. I am horrified at what I did and feel disgusted with myself.
I ran out of the house and sat in the car for what seemed like hours.
DD2 is 6mo and the absolute light of my life so why did I do that?
I think things had been building up all afternoon. DD2 is teething and had been crying pretty much all day. When DH got in she then threw up all over me after I'd changed her clothes and it was like something snapped inside me. I barely rem,ember doing it. All a haze like when you have a car accident and it seems to appen in slow motion.
I had PND with DD1 and came off Sertraline when I was pregnant with DD2. My consultant wanted to put me on ADs while I was pregnant in case it returned but I thought I'd wait and see how I was.
I didn't think I'd been feeling too bad. Had started to feel a bit down a while ago so I took St John Wort which helped. If I miss taking them for a copule of days though I seem to suffer terrible mood swings. Maybe I need something stronger.
The thing is, I'm not sure it is PND o just a build up of stress. The last 6 months have been pretty awful.
DDs birth was quite traumatic, then my grandad died 8 weeks later, then my alcoholic mother appeared again and was very abusive towards me. My sister has sine reappeared after 6 years estrangement and wants to have my mother charged with child abuse- something I want no part of.
DD2 has also been quite ill on and off- a few nights in hospital and I just things have got on top of me.
I fully expect strong words from you all and you are right to do so but I do love my children and hurting my baby like this has terrified me.