Life change Vs pending lid life crisis Vs peri?!

[SlB09]

I feel like I've fallen into the trap of uni, but a house, career, married, kids and now I'm 41 with the lovely house husband kid (& dont get me wrong theres been major challenges along the way in both health and fertility). I feel like it's not the true me, I grew up very rurally, moved to the city and now live semi rurally as a compromise with husband but feel like it's just not me - how did I come to be a person I don't think I want to be. I've never been a cars/house/things person remotely but yet I've come to be in that position, minus the 'things'. I feel like the real me needs to be in the middle of the country, not doing my current career, being around people less consumed with stuff and shiny things and status.

HOWEVER, I'm not sure if this is mid life crisis knocking on my door and/or hormonal changes leading to this general dissatisfaction with how I'm living my life. Is it that things have kind of gone according to plan so far and now I'm abit 'now what'? Am I rose tinting/the grass is greener in my mind when really I have alot and should be grateful and this will settle down and be worked through? We couldn't really afford for either of us to completely change career as my choice wouldn't be a well paid option and neither would I want to start from the bottom realistically.

Is this all a normal stage of life??

I think it’s totally normal. There’s a reason the mid life crisis Porsche/affair/giving up job has long been a cliche for men! Every woman I know has reinvented herself in some way around 35-45 recently, though it’s more plants, sourdough and dogs than cars.

There’s definitely a grass is greener aspect. I live rurally, can confirm that most people are just as shallow, it’s just the brand of your wellies that’s important, not your handbag. Status is absolutely important, so much more so than I found in city living! Everyone knows the top families, the farmers worth millions, the younger brothers who inherited nothing, and on and on. You can’t change who you are round here, everyone knows too much.

Can you try to find a new tribe or a new hobby where you are now? Divert yourself sideways, scratch a bit of the itch without chucking everything away? Book a working farm holiday?

Thanks @UnderOverUp valuable reality check! I still help out on parents farm but since having a child it's harder to combine the two mins they are 7 now so much easier so I get my fix, but it's also like dangling the carrot!! I wouldn't move back home as it is v rural and lack of jobs, generally more deprived, lots of rural crime but yes I do get the whole Welly brand thing!!

My tribes developed as I've got older but that's definitely a good suggestion and the sideways stuff. This phase/age is just so weird !

Anyone else?