Death anxiety

[Kiansmummy]

I dont know if any one else has had these thoughts but six months after having my first child I started thinking about the cicle of life including death- then I started thinking of the meaning of life and this had led to be becoming increasingly anxious and to develop some signs of depression. I am usually a well balanced person and if someone had told me a month ago I would be feeling like this I would have laughed in their face. I am hoping this is just a passing phase! I am currently a full time mum and I have always worked I am also living in quite an isolated area so I am aware that maybe my mind needs occupying- My son is a delightful, healthy little boy but he can be very demanding as babies tend to be- Im I going mad!!!

Hey just thought I'd say no your not going mad. This story actually sound very similair to the way I was.

I live in an isolated area, was afull time mum and was constanly thinking about how my DP would cope if I died and how my DS would cope without me being there for him etc. was very confuusing. I am now back at work and feeling alot better but beforehand I was going to as many toddler groups etc as I could find just to get out every day.

In my case I think it was just a case of too much spare time but none of t to myself.

Thanks for your message I think alot of it is due to me not using my mind enough and I am living away from what I consider to be my home- adding to this I have always had an over active imagination- all my friends think I am going mad but my family are worried about me- I am unsure whether to go to the gp or just to ride the wave as I am functioning to a certain degree but I just dont like the thoughts going around my head!!!

You're not going mad - it's surprising how common this is. I had my baby three weeks ago and these thoughts kicked in almost immediately. Possibly because he was in special care for a while, but probably I would have had those thoughts anyway. I think if you're naturally a fairly intelligent person who thinks about things, starting to think even more deeply about the big life questions is just natural. Having a baby is a weird time and it makes you realise that you're no longer a member of the youngest generation, and that we all have a limited life span. I felt so caught up in these thoughts for a good three days or so that I just couldn't watch TV, read a paper or do anything that seemed 'trivial'. But most of our day to day life is quite trivial so sooner or later you have to get back into it. I discussed my feelings with a couple of friends who had babies recently and they said they felt the same way, but that it passes. Sorry I think this is quite a ramble, but hope it helps. If your feelings don't pass, do get help - but I hope they do.

I have these thoughts at times - especially if I am depressed. You are not going mad but you DO sound depressed. Can you talk to your GP or HV (depending on what either are like).

Also there is a good website called No More Panic with an excellent forum on it.

www.nomorepanic.co.uk (I think). I have found them helpful in the past.

I do it's very normal. I think it's to do with the biology of having a baby in some ways - you become become almost animalistic in your need to protect your baby and what you feel for him or her; and that mainfests itself in these thoughts and fears about what the world can have in store for your little one. I found myself doing 'risk assessments' of every situation I went into when dd1 was born, e.g. planning how I would veer the pram off into a ditch when (note not if but when) the stray car ran off the road and hit us!! and mentally doing through fire escape scenarios for every building we were in!

At the time I thought I was going a bit mad too but it does calm down somewhat. I have to say I think it's an exaggerated version of what it feels like to be a mum anyway - that constant fear for your children - but it does become more manageable and less intense as they get older. You learn to accept the risks and be a bit more logical about it, but I don't think the underlying worry ever really goes away. It's natural, as long as it doesn't completely take over.

Having said that, if it doesn't get any better, speak to someone... I did feel like this but I wasn't depressed and it did pass.