Threatened miscarriages & placenta abruption

[EllieLkj]

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

At 17 weeks pregnant I had a massive bleed and was rushed to hospital. When I tell family this story they say it just seemed like a lot of blood but i cleaned up the blood for the hospital to weigh so they'd know how serious it was. I can't emphasise enough on how much I lost & how traumatic it was at the time.

But thankfully baby girl was all okay, happy in there bouncing around but I lived in absolute fear for months, couldn't bond with her because I was so scared I wouldn't ever meet her.

While in labour I started bleeding but the midwife said, it's because my labour came on so fast but a doctor came in not long after and wasn't happy with what they was seeing & took me down to theatre where they found I was having a placenta abruption, thankfully baby girl was all okay & she's now nearly 8 months old.

At the time I felt I'd healed mentally after the bleed & just felt incredibly lucky but as my little girl is getting old I'm starting to notice I'm actually not okay, I feel so traumatised by the whole thing, the bleed at 17 weeks and then the placenta abruption. I find myself trying to find others that have gone through the same thing or trying to google to see why could have this happened to me.

I just want to hear someone who has faced something similar and has come out the other end and can see the positive? How do I not feel like something bad is waiting for me around every corner?

Firstly, Congratulations on your little girlie! Sending love and support your way.

Secondly, it’s absolutely normal to feel trauma after your experience. We forget trauma is perceptive and a lot of the time, events like this leave us feeling confused about why it happened, what happens now, will it happen again…

Placental abruption isn’t too common but it’s a situation with no one-specific reason. It can be extremely scary, especially as it’s not really talked about - a lot of things that can happen often don’t get mentioned and therefore, if they do happen - it leaves women feeling confused and traumatised.

I would look into getting a Birth Reflections. Your hospital may or may not offer this but you have around 2/2.5 years to ask for someone to meet you to bring up your maternity records and talk you through the events to help with understanding and reflection. I would also seek some support through counselling, such as Talking Therapy. Your HV can direct you or you can self refer to some services. I think you might see great benefit from breaking down the situation and reflecting on it (whilst not in labour ofc) with someone compassionate and who can answer any questions. Please note that the bleed and placental abruption was not your fault. It’s an unlucky, physiological thing that isn’t caused by you just going about your normal life.

I haven’t experienced it, but I’m a midwife and have cared for women in this situation and it can be daunting. I think the next step would be to seek help through therapy. You could even try your GP but they aren’t favoured for MH pathways at the best of times.

Sending lots of well wishes.