Anxiety when DC ill

[ThiccOfIt]

I have 3 DC (8, 4 & 2).

All 3 have had some rubbish form of health scare but my youngest DC has seen the worst of it unfortunately, I’ve been the one that’s been there (circumstances, lack of childcare, DH working etc) every time when sh*ts hit the fan, from waiting ridiculously long for ambulances in really scary and bad situations, resuscitations, numerous hospital stays, anaphylaxis etc.

Trouble is, now everytime one of the DC are ill (mostly my dc3) my anxiety goes into overdrive and sometimes I just wish I’d die so I’m not filled with sheer worry that they might die with the newest illness.

Ive had CBT & Counselling and neither helped unfortunately. I have no idea how to calm myself when the kids are ill, I just internally panic, my DH isn’t the most patient with me and downplays a lot of the DC illness too (he says it’s a defence mechanism to get through).

Any advice on getting through the next few years of revolving illness, allergic reactions and hospital trips for a highly anxious mum that’s had enough of seeing her children in bad ways please?

Thanks

That's awful. Your well within your right to be anxious, you have been through so much. I don't have much advice as such but wanted to say that I also am an absolute mess when any of my DC fall ill. A book called SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES by Claire weekes has helped me immensely. You may want to check it out.

You're completely human to feel anxious! This is a natural human response. I think we can have very dark thoughts when we experience such traumatic things that don't go away.
I've actually often wanted things to just end because of the stress and fear and neverending hopelessness of being sick, worrying my own child will get sick.

You just need opportunities to have a break, to rest and escape the worry.

If that's physically impossible is there any way mentally? Just deep breathing yourself to another place ( podcasts may help), anti depressants? Any herbal type things for anxiety? Any meds you can request?

Your response is normal. You're not an anxious mum. You're a normal person having a very human response to a very difficult situation. Your feelings of severe anxiety are understandable. Just try anything to escape mentally somehow ( healthy stuff )