How do you look after a depressed teen when you have depression yourself?

[Billyandharry]

Any tips gratefully received as finding things literally impossible. Trying to support DD but feel awful myself.

Oh god I have no advice OP but sympathize with you massively. I'm currently trying to look after and support my anxious 10yr old while extremely anxious myself. It's a very tough ride.

It's just awful - it makes me even more depressed. I can't seem to separate my feelings from hers.

Absolutely identical here. As soon as my son tells me he's anxious or I can see the physical symptoms rising in him, I start to feel anxious and my heart races and I have to try so hard to hide it. I've never felt more guilty in my life.

@Nogodsnomasters - it's so horrible when you have nothing in the tank yourself. I just can not stand to see her unhappiness. Hope things improve for you.xxx

I suffer with several MH problems. A few years back my son also had MH issues and tried to take his own life multiple times. I actually think I was in a better position than my husband as I understood how he felt and could properly empathise with him. It was really tough though. I used to hold it together while I visited him in hospital, then cry all the way home! I think you need to practice self care. Take some time for yourself daily, a long bath, mindfulness, colouring in- whatever works for you. They models a good way of looking after yourself to your teen.
Good luck. Parenting young people with MH issues when you have them yourself is really tough x

Thanks @Scutterbug . Yes I totally get how she feels and have a lot of empathy but that makes it worse because I know how awful it is iyswim. Yes to modelling self care. X

And hope your son doing much better now.x

Been there. I just had to white knuckle myself through it. I was not only depressed, but physically ill, so it was hell. DD had to be watched constantly as she was suicidal, and every waking minute she talked about how miserable she was and how she wanted to die. I got almost no sleep even when she was sleeping because I was was afraid she would wake up and try something.
The extreme suicidal ideation went on for about a month until her antidepressants kicked in, then she got some relief from that constant, extreme despair. There were three hospitalizations that year, until eventually she became more stable. The drugs certainly haven't cured her, but she's a lot better than she was. She's now in her 30s and still struggles with it. It appears it will be lifelong. 😞

Can you get any relief? Could another relative take over for awhile so you can rest? It's important that you get a reprieve. I feel for you OP.

@XChrome blimey you really have been through it. Glad your dd is more stable now. One of the things I find really hard is that I do think it's not just a teenage/hormone thing but a genetic/lifelong thing and it just saddens me. Hubby doing his bit (no other family around but do have good chums) so I am getting a bit of relief which I need desperately to keep myself sane. I honestly don't know how people do it.