DS(5) on the SEN register - what next?

[Squashinthepinkcup]

Not sure if this is the right location for this...Also sincere apologies if I use the wrong terminology or don't explain this well. I'm learning and trying to educate myself. Please be kind.

DS (5) has been placed on the SEN register at school. I'm not sure what this exactly means (I know what the acronym translates to, just not what it means for us). It doesn't seem to have changed anything other than the fact we now get invited to SEN coffee mornings with other parents who seem to be dealing with much bigger behaviours than we are. They talk about meltdowns, never sitting still, refusal to get dressed/go to school, lack of eye contact, being super super bright, violent outbursts etc. This isn't our experience with DS at all.

I read on here that neurodiversity isn't a spectrum, you're either ND or NT; so I'm presuming as the school have said my kid isn't fitting into their usual brackets for behaviour that he's ND. However I am inexperienced/uneducated in all the different things this could mean. When I research 'being on the SEN register' nothing seems relevant for our situation. School have not really said what that means or what happens next, just that he needs additional provision. He can be impulsive and have big bursts of energy that seem to come from nowhere (or nowhere ish, more on that later). Otherwise he's a focussed, bright, empathetic, outgoing, friendly, helpful, kind, 5 year old. No concerns whatsoever, except for these random 'bursts' which they don't see with other children. School are monitoring him to see if they can work out any triggers and how best to support him.

I noticed around age 3 that he became much more boisterous after screen time, and would struggle with impulse control (wanting to do lots of rough and tumble play, being really silly etc). However, I have known many silly, energetic young children, particularly boys, so it didn't really strike me as unusual. We noticed that when screen time was replaced by more opportunities for puppy play, family time outside, expending energy, also calming activities (loves an audio book or a board game) to wind back down he became a lot calmer. We've also always been focussed on getting enough rest and a balanced diet etc. Whether it was this or just him getting older etc he's calmed down a lot/keeps his energy for appropriate times. So, this news from school has come as a bit of a surprise really. They do watch rather a lot of TV there, so perhaps it's related to that. Feels like a very divisive issue both on here and with parents I know so don't want to rock that boat, just something I'm pondering.

Guess at this stage I'm mainly wondering what I do next? I don't feel school should be doing all the leg work on this, but I have no idea what to do from home to support both them and him. School don't seem to know either. I've asked for a meeting with the SENCO, but thought I should do some research/thinking ahead of time so I'm prepared. I'd like to help him manage his own behaviours for his own sake and the schools. However, given that everything we regularly do at home (no screens, lots of time outside, opportunity for boisterous play balanced with one on one time and calmer activities etc) don't translate to the school environment, where should I start?

Being on the SEN register does not equal being ND. It simply means he needs some additional help in some part of his education. I think the first thing to do is to talk to the senco about why he is on the register and the current support they have in place. Once you know this then you can think about what else you can do. I would add that coffee mornings won't be representative of the kids on the register - parents often attend when they are struggling to get peer support and an opportunity to talk to the senco.

You need the SEN board.

My DD bounced on and off the sen register throughout school, then pandemic, then she got an EHCP in college.

Sen register may just mean needs a bit of extra help for a while, or may be an indicator of bigger issues to come. They won't necessarily know at this point. It isn't specifically about being ND either.

I wouldn't make any assumptions. He might just need a bit of support for a while. it doesn't mean he is necessarily ND. Did he go to nursery/preschool? How was he there?

Thanks for the replies, they've been useful and educational. Will see what the SENCO says this week.

Why are they watching lots of tv???

being on the register can mean a lot of things and it’s important to know what ‘category’ the school have placed him in, eg we have a ‘monitoring’ bracket which means there’s no formal diagnosis, we’re literally flagging to just keep in mind there might be something there that needs additional support.

they should be telling you what prompted him being placed on the list, what behaviours and concerns they have, and what provision is being made to support as a result. You are completely involved; take ownership (kindly - I’m trying to empower you) and ask questions for anything you don’t understand as schools have their own ways of working and sometimes we do forget what parents have to navigate that we do every day. This becomes a partnership of support, so take it as that and ensure that you understand and agree with what they’re suggesting, make suggestions if you want

home and school behaviours usually vary massively with all children but if there are patterns at home then they might be adaptable or useful to understand where ds is at.

@LottieMary I wish I knew. I spoke unofficially to the head about it and was told the official school policy is to read them a book if they need a calming, group activity. The TV is there for occasional use and educational material only. But cbeebies seems to be on daily. Not just stuff like numberblocks either. There was a bit of chat about it in the parental WhatsApp group but I'd say 40% thought it was perfectly appropriate to use it as a tool if needed, especially whilst the class is so young and on wet days etc. Another 40% didn't like TV as a regular thing in the classroom and the remainder were either ambivalent or silent on the topic. The arguments against were that a lot of the children are stimulated/over stimulated by TV so feels unnecessary in an educational establishment, but as I mentioned above it's a devisive topic and was by no means a unanimous opinion amongst parents. For these reasons it didn't get escalated further.

Thank you for the rest of your comments. Completely agree that home and school are two totally different ball parks, but working collaboratively as much as possible would be the best scenario for all parties.

In our school the child will have an individual Education Plan? Has anyone discussed anything similar with you? It will be targets that are set by the teacher/TA alongside the child. For some children it might also be to help with emotional regulation and independence.

The SEN register is more of an internal admin thing than anything for you to worry about.

It will flag up on the software when teachers do sitting plans so they can look at the child's file in more detail and find out more about them.

Students on it should get a One page profile / IEP of their needs and adjustments that are reviewed several times a year between you, the child and school.

It is a handy way of filtering parents to invite them to specific SEND drop ins.

Children can move on and off the SEN register easily and often came up to us at Secondary school for being on there for Speech and Language or similar therapy that they had had years ago and just hadn't been removed.