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Understanding sexual abuse

7 replies

Dadoftwoooo · 17/10/2024 00:35

Hi everyone

So I’m a male, and after some recent trauma it’s opened I guess Pandora’s box, I was recently diagnosed with ptsd due to a traumatic event that nearly resulted in me losing one of my sons.

its been difficult because im what most would call a man’s man, im a powerlifter some say i can seem intimidating because of my size general face (lol) but im extremely friendly and suffer with anxiety, i was raised pretty tough and got beat a lot as a child, locked away in my room for days, my dad left when i was young and my mum was very unstable, i could write pages on it all but i want to get to the point, so since being diagnosed and having a mental breakdown, i found myself crying a lot, then out of nowhere this memory pops up, when I was 9 my older sisters friend who was 15-16 would play with my privates and would get me to do it to her, i didn’t understand other than it felt nice i guess, i cant get my head round it, ive only told my sister and she says that i was abused, but i cant seem to grasp that is the truth.

i guess i just wanted to vent without people knowing who i am, im not sure if anyone will read this but it feels good to write down.

being a dad has given me so much purpose and happiness, i work hard and all I want in return is my children to be safe secure and have all the love and support I missed out on,I want to protect them from anything I went through, I would die for my children, sometimes i feel like im worthless, but my job is to raise my children in a home that feels like home, that’s all i ever wanted as a child you know.

once they’re grown up, I just feel like I don’t need to be here anymore you know.

anyway if you read this thank you and take care.

OP posts:
Obsessedwithsourdough · 17/10/2024 00:41

It was sexual abuse and I’m very sorry you had this happen to you. It’s important you seek counselling if you possibly can to try and process it.

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGGG · 17/10/2024 00:45

Sorry that happened to you. Counselling is the best way forward to process it all, good luck

username3678 · 17/10/2024 00:54

Hi OP I'm sorry this happened to you.

You can contact the Survivors Trust who have a helpline for men and women who have experienced sexual abuse.

You could also contact NAPAC who are an organisation for survivors of child abuse.

Both organisations can advise about specialised counselling but you can also check BACP for a therapist.

The Survivors Trust

The Survivors Trust - Rape & Sexual Abuse Services UK

The Survivors Trust supports specialist rape and sexual abuse services in the voluntary sector. With over 120 member organisations across the UK and Ireland, we provide support to over 100,000 survivors annually.

https://thesurvivorstrust.org/

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/10/2024 01:01

Sorry this happened.
It's very normal for you to feel that it felt nice at the time - both physically and the attention from someone older and in a position of power.
You can do lots to protect your children - the nspcc has lots of advice and lost importantly is reassuring them they can tell
You anything and they won't be In trouble .

Hope your son is ok now!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/10/2024 01:02

Ps your children will always need and want you to be here even when they're pensioners x

MarkingBad · 17/10/2024 02:24

You aren't worthless in the slightest you mean the world to at least 2 very special people and quite probably a lot more.

Speaking about it out loud is really important on the road to recovery even if it is a late night post on a forum of strangers. You do need help, you were abused and that is devastating. I'm so sorry it happened to you and I hope you can get the help you need and deserve

AmIbeingTreasonable · 17/10/2024 02:56

Please don't think that your kids won't need you when they're grown up, they will always need you and they would never recover if you decided to not be here after they are grown up.

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