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Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes

4 replies

whydoialwaysmessup · 14/10/2024 22:52

Hi all,

I don't know what I am looking for posting here but I have nobody in real life I can say this to.

I keep fucking up financially, I know the consequences but can't seem to stop myself from making silly mistakes huge errors of judgement

I am married but I am the sole earner I manage all the household finances badly. We are not massively financially comfortable but could be so much better off if could control myself.

I hide things from my DH even down to my vaping and consequently suffer with massive anxiety, especially around the time the postman is due.

I know am doing this to myself, I am putting undue pressure on my marriage and as a family are missing out on things due to my poor management. For example we were planning to go away a few weekends ago but as I had underpaid my rent for weeks the letter arrived and we had to pay that meaning we couldn't go away.

I have done budgets and apps etc and separate bank account and seem to manage and get on track then boom I do something silly just as we are getting back to how it should be.

Why do I do this to myself and my family? I am not worthy of them, they don't deserve this, I am not good enough for them and it makes me feel alone and sad, I am not even angry with myself anymore I just feel numb. I am taking SNRIs already.

OP posts:
Scutterbug · 14/10/2024 23:04

You need to get your partner to share the burden so you are both accountable. Do a budget together. Work out where the money is going, if he can see what’s happening financially it might help you rein in your unnecessary spending.

whydoialwaysmessup · 15/10/2024 10:15

Thank you

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 15/10/2024 13:56

Sounds like you are stuck in a childlike (not childish) cycle of behaviour; not learning from mistakes, worrying about being found out and putting things off even though you know the consequences will impact you and others. Is this something you grew up with?

I am not worthy of them, they don't deserve this, I am not good enough for them

Have a read of this - https://www.betterup.com/blog/core-beliefs

azafata2 · 15/10/2024 13:59

Why are you the sole earner? Is that a choice?

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