Am I stupid to even think I can cope?

[Youcannotbeserious]

I'm due to have a baby in 4 weeks.

I have a planned CS arranged. DH is not taking paternity leave and doesn't work in the UK so won't be around. I don't have any friends or family around.

I seem to spend all my time worrying how other people will be affected - my DSDs, DH, DH's ex etc.,

Other people seem to put themselves first and relax, whereas most of the time, I'm stressed out just trying to do everything I need to do.

I am still working for the next 3 weeks and am finding it more and more of a struggle....

How do I just stop worrying whether someone else's life might be affected for 5 miutes and just concentrate on how I'm actually going to cope, because right now, I don't think I'm going to......

You can't - it's you, your hormones and the fact that you're a nice person who cares about what other people will feel and how they are affected.
It's the 'burnt toast' syndrome a lot of women have. You eat the burnt toast even if it makes you want to vomit cos you want your kids/DH to have the nice stuff.

You WILL cope. They will cope. Have you got anyone at all you can talk to, rant at, cry with?

Oh - and sod DH's ex - she's big enough to look after herself and help with her children

(((HUGS))) n chocolate xx

Where are you? Do you have friends around who can help?

Is there any chance you can stop working before you have planned to and get some (much deserved) rest?
Have you considered hiring a doula? A friend of mine is a doula in the UK and has worked for someone who had a baby by CS and no family around for a good 4 months.
Lots of coping vibes from me

it is really hard when your family and friends are not around, but i found when i had my children that i made friends in hospital who remain friends now, there are some really good support groups, once youve had your baby you may find they help, have you done any antenatal classes? i also found my friends from work came round to see me a lot and kept me company, your health visitor should be able to give you some advise as well.

the most important thing at the moment is to try not to worry i know it is easier said than done, but you dont want your blood pressure going up, cause that will make you feel worse. this forum has been a god send to me and i found lots of support on here.

YCNBS,

You will cope. Have some confidence in your own abilities. I am sure there are people willing to support you even if its is from afar like here on MN or more practically for those who live closer.

I think a PN doula is a great idea.

Do some good birth prep aswell and take time for yourself, I know how important it is to consider others feelings etc but you must look after yourself - put others second even if just for a day.

I have every confidence and I am sure everything will work out just fine.

Cxx

Thanks.....

You know, I think there are people who can support me, I think maybe the problem is me and I'm not good at asking or telling people I need help.........

Thanks though..... I am looking forwrad to being a mum!

Where are you YCNBS?

I am shockingly bad at asking for help (stubborn, moi?) but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and call. Then you see who your real mates are