"Empty Nest" and not quite "Empty Nest"

[KonstantlyKESS]

I'm a parent to four and raised them alone pretty much for the past 15 years or so.
I have four adult children, 20 yr old and 28 yr old still live in the same home as me and my other two, a 22 yr old Son who has his own 2 yr old Son who left home 2 & 1/2 years ago to be with his Partner in the latter stages of Pregnancy at her Mums.
Previously they used to life at both mine and her Mums.
And my only Daughter left roughly 9 years ago and has a 8 year old, they're the only one who don't live locally, though we try to see each monthly still.
And I have more involvement with my Daughter and Son & Daughter-in-Law who don't live at home than I do with the two who do.
The two here are like total strangers we barely interact and they barely interact with each other.
Family has always been my life, been there and done everything for everyone else and ignored my own stuff.
Recently MH took a turn for the worse partially because family was breaking down and drifting away and I couldn't cope and adjust.
Recently with MH help, I've tried to put me first which is alien and because I'm not there whenever others want or need me I'm then ignored or ghosted for a week etc.
if I'm not the one to reach out to others it can be a week or more before I hear anything from anyone.
And that's only usually when they need or want something. Not how are you.
I'm disabled and wheelchair based due to significant Self Harm damage to both lower legs, though lefts born the brunt of it and significant Self Harm damage to both lower arms as well, have reduced movement in both wrists and can barely walk. Have other complex and complicated physical & psychological issues like Heart PoTs, Shoulders, Knees, abdominal & groin stuff as well as Autism, ADHD, cPTSD, EUPD along with severe self harm and permanent damage and scaring.
To the point most have given up trying to help treat or deal with me.
I know it's impacted my family.
I miss what we had and know it'll never be the same.
How did others cope with the "Empty Nest" or like me both actual "Empty Nest" and the partial "Empty Nest".
Thoughts, feelings and suggestions!!!

Have I said or done something wrong.
is it because I’m a newbie.
sorry.
Have issues with rejection and isolation hence the initial post.

My kids are little so I have no experience of empty nest in either form, but I remember reading your post and wanted to reply to say someone had heard you and bump the tread in the hope someone with relevant life experience would see it. Things for me are pretty overwhelming at the moment, so i tend to think I'll come back to that later when I'm not feeling so bad and then never geting to the point of being able to fo that, but i really wanted to come back and reply to you. Your situation sounds very complex and overwhelming and that could be why you haven't had replies. Though sometimes on here I think it's just luck of the draw or posting at the right time whether you get no replies or many.

I have PTSD thanks to my abusive ex and my childhood, Narc mum, sister who had severe mental health issues who disappeared, alcoholic dad with cPTSD. I have anxiety, panic attacks and ADHD, probabaly Autistic and constant overwhelming chronic pain. My DC are all Autistic, eldest has trauma from her dad, has self harmed, been suicidal, so some of that is a little familiar to me. I never know even with my DD, who Im very close to, how much to acknowledge things like self harm and I never want to do any harm to someone who is already suffering. But what I see reading this is how much mental pain you must have been in to need to do that. I am so sorry you've been put through so much in your life and I hope your the MH support you're getting can help you with that in someway.