Dave Goggins - I think he's destroying my son

[FairPoet]

Anyone else come across this extreme endurance influencer? My 15 yr old is obsessed with fitness, regime and self-discipline. Today he was tearing him self to pieces with anger directed at himself (and us) for having slipped on his goals. He's 'cut out dopamine' is isolating himself from his peers and withdrawn. Please, any relating here? Any advice? Thanks. have raised with school but because he's good there, they aren't interested. Took him to GP to discuss food when that was becoming a problem. The only thing I can of is to get on with Mr Goggins myself - 51 yr old mum - might put him off...

Hi, yes. My DS also 15 used to talk about him quite a lot. He went through a phase of really building himself up physically. I was more concerned about it than my husband was.
I got worried enough to read Goggins's book (which was quite good actually). That was helpful in opening up a conversation with my son.
However I'd say 6 months or so later my son is much less interested in him and has moved on to other things (clothes, girls). Also under pressure re GCSE so has had to put much more time and energy into that!
Helped I think that his whole family took the mick gently about some of Goggin's silliness...the whole 'man up' thing for example. I'd say out loud to myself eg; 'Oh middle-aged-woman up!' or to the whining dog 'Do please dog up'.
I also started working out myself and DS has been very encouraging so maybe that makes that culture less solely 'male'?
I would say though that the school should be taking it seriously. My son's school is across everything- Andrew Tate etc and hold regular parent seminars with advice. There is stuff out there that's useful.

‘Dog up’ has made me giggle.

DS's school recommended keeping communication open. Even if that means putting away a natural sceptical/cynical tone. Take a curious approach and ask him gentle questions about what he's doing and why he likes DG's approach. The more calm conversations the better.
It may also not be relevant to your DS but i realised how insecure physically my son might be and started to compliment him a bit more. That really helped. He was pleased and kind of relaxed a bit when I said I could see a difference and he looked really strong, etc.
Not sure if any of this will help. But happy to chat if helpful.
I do think DG is far far better than some of the other lunatics teenage boys follow....

I was going to ask about food then you mentioned it. Extreme exercise can be a part of anorexia.

I don't follow Goggins myself, but his personal story (overcoming terrible childhood abuse and coping with chronic pain) is actually quite compelling and inspirational.

Your son needs to put everything in context; few people have the physical ability to become elite endurance athletes. Goggins' message certainly isn't about "isolating himself from his peers and withdrawing". If that's your son's interpretation then that's probably with a discussion.

Although your son might be taking it to an (annoying) extreme, there are worse things than physical fitness for teen boys to get obsessed about.

IME it's just a phase and will pass.

Goggins is an absoolute arsehat. I've been involved in the ultra running community for over 20 years and in most circles he's actually a bit of a meme/object of sarcasm.

If your son is really interested in ultra running etc then there are far better role models out there you could maybe direct him to - and some amazing films to watch as well. Think Jasmine Paris, Dean Karnazes, the Barkley Marathons my list could go on and on and on

This years Spartathlon race was over the weekend and that's a landmark in the ultra calendar with some epic performances........ feel free to PM me if you wanted for some more signposting that isn't Goggins 😈

Thank you everyone for your excellent advice, insights and context setting. I've got lots to go away with, this really is a helpful community and I'm feeling hopeful x

My son is also going through this but in a much deeper and more negative way. He is completely isolated from his mates and is judging everyone now. I also follow DG and have read his book but these kids are taking it too extreme and its not the message I think DG is promoting. Not sure what to do anymore tbh.