Social anxiety - struggling in groups

[Elizo]

Hi all, just wondering if anyone has words of wisdom.

Am trying to get out there and meet some new people. My one DS is a teen now and getting more and more independent and I have a very small number of close friends and lots of people I know who I meet with individually every once in a while, but single life can be quite lonely and a lot of friendships have fallen by the way side.

I have had quite severe social anxiety in the past (at one point I really could barely tolerate going out in groups) but after medication and other non-medical lifestyle changes have improved a lot over the years. However going into a group of people I don't know is causing me a lot of anxiety. I have joined a group and there are drinks after the activity but I just can't go. It's a big group and when I arrive I just feel quite paralysed with everyone around me talking and a lot of them have known each other for a long time. I just stand there feeling panicky. I have had some really nice chats with some individual people and they are friendly, but I just can't face going into the bar and feeling frozen. I think it can become quite self-fulfilling because the nerves can be obvious and then it becomes harder to connect. Any advice or uplifting stories about overcoming this?? I don't want to give up as I really want to meet new people.

Any ideas/ advice/ experience welcome...thank you

personally i accepted me for me i dont like crowds whats the deal.Yes it would be nicer to have more friends but why push it.I dont like crowded places nightclubs well ok if thats not me thats ok.I clearly need to find more people like myself ,maybe i need to find people in places i do like to hang out like the library ,unfortunately people like us find it harder to find each other as we like peace

I like Dnd groups nice peaceful get together s just hard to find new people to create groups

Thank you for replying. What is DND?

I hear what you're saying and I can sympathise. I do a range of activities with groups and often there are drinks/coffee etc. afterwards.

Having a get out clause is something I always have up my sleeve. So I go for the drink but then have something like an appointment I must go to (collect kids/see parent/babysitter on a timer ... whatever fits with you) that I have as an exit so if I'm struggling then I know I can leave.

I meant to also say the fact that I have the get out clause available to use means that I feel more confident going for the drink knowing that I can leave if I need to and often I really enjoyed myself as a result.

Dnd is one type but board game nights with friends are nice quiet get togethers.Dnd is is a game you can play with friends involving a written story,game books and working together in said story.But for people are not into it board game nights are good for people like us just a few people having snacks and cups of tea