Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Feeling triggered as a parent

2 replies

Natasha198 · 02/10/2024 16:44

I hope I'm not the only one who struggles with this but...
My DS is 3 and we're having a hard time with him not listening at the moment. I know this is normal behaviour, but it triggers something in me that makes me so angry. On the outside I try and stay calm, and occasionally walk away so I can have some deep breaths. Recently I have got so annoyed that I have shouted or screamed and it's making me feel like an awful parent because I don't want to bring my child up where I'm feeling that upset and angry. It's not fair on my DS. He usually laughs or smiles when I do shout, but I don't know how much it is affecting him and that worries me. I suffer a lot with stress, but am journalling / meditating / exercising to help with that.

Something about not being listened to is triggering a feeling deep inside me. I had a hard childhood - my mum was an alcoholic and never listened to my pleas to stop. I had a lot of therapy about it, and I thought I had resolved the issues, but every stage of parenthood has bought a new realisation of trauma that I haven't fully resolved. I also want to add that I had a traumatic birth with my son, where I wasn't listened to, so also think this might be playing in to it too.

I just wanted to see if anyone else has felt the same? I love my son so much, and really want to mentally get better for him (and myself). I want to provide him with the upbringing I never had. DH and I have talked about having another, but until I feel I can be calmer, I don't think it's fair.

OP posts:
candlewhickgreen · 02/10/2024 16:48

I think you need to find strategies to deal with your temper. It might also help to do a parenting course to help you manage your child. Therapy would help you process your childhood.

Letsgotitans · 02/10/2024 16:50

Have I felt the same? Literally a few hours ago 😬😂 I also have a 3 year old son. It's soooo hard to stay calm when you feel triggered isn't it?! And then the guilt after!! I'm really really trying to model taking myself out of the situation to calm down. I will say to him I'm going somewhere else to take some deep breaths, but it's definitely a work in progress. The guilt is worse when he copies what I do when feeling cross 😢

New posts on this thread. Refresh page