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Original poster

I need help. What do i do? What am I doing?

41 replies

Rach98 · 02/10/2024 10:53

I'm so confused. Moods all over the place.. mostly low. I don't no what's real and what isn't. I'm agitated and irritable. Hearts racing as is my mind and thoughts. Everything's going 100 miles an hour. Seeing things in the corner of my eye, thinking people are in my house..hearing footsteps.. thinking people have broken in. Seeing relating messages eg I'm thinking of something and the exact words come into a song on the radio, or if I'm thinking of my neighbours last name randomly it happends to be on a sign or van.
Struggling to make simple decisions, forgetting appointments, jumping one idea to the next, eating is all over the place iv lost 10lbs this month, I'm so bloody tired and exhausted, I don't go out unless absolutely necessary due to paranoid thoughts and huge anxiety. I feel so spaced out and floaty, I don't feel connected to myself or the normal outside world it feels fake.
I have borderline personality disorder anyway along with depression anxiety.

Whay counts as a mental health crisis? Am I having this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 21:30

Mischance · 02/10/2024 15:57

Samaritans will listen and signpost you to help.
Or contact 111 or GP as advised above.
Have your original post onscreen when you ring and read from that so they can be clear of the nature of the problems.
I hope that you are able to find the help you need.

The second I open my mouth.. I'm scared of what will happen. I fear my life will fall apart

OP posts:
Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 21:32

EmmaOvary · 02/10/2024 11:16

OP, it sounds like you are having a psychotic episode. As you are caring for a young child, you will be prioritised. I would call NHS 111 as PP suggested, or your local mental health crisis team. Help is out there. You are safe, you just need a little help with it. Sending hugs.

Really? I don't think it's that bad is it

OP posts:
ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 02/10/2024 21:35

No, I don’t think you should listen to diagnoses given on here, OP.

Text SHOUT on 85258 (giveusashout.org) they are crisis supporters and trained to help you calm and find your next step to getting some relief from how you’re feeling right now.

Scutterbug · 02/10/2024 21:47

Hi OP. Is your DC with your ex at the moment? Do you think you could manage to call 111 and pick option 2 for MH support? Or go to A and E. they will have a MH practitioner who can support you.

Quitelikeit · 02/10/2024 21:51

Nothing bad is going to happen to you or your child if you open up to the Gp about your health worries

However if you take no action at all then something bad could happen to you as you may get worse - even if you think that’s impossible it’s truly not

Are you worried the GP will report you?

Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 21:54

Scutterbug · 02/10/2024 21:47

Hi OP. Is your DC with your ex at the moment? Do you think you could manage to call 111 and pick option 2 for MH support? Or go to A and E. they will have a MH practitioner who can support you.

No he's left a while ago. I'm unable to due to not being in a position to be able to do this. I'm scared they will take my kids as no one would b able to look after them due to DV or my ex not physically being capable to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 21:56

Quitelikeit · 02/10/2024 21:51

Nothing bad is going to happen to you or your child if you open up to the Gp about your health worries

However if you take no action at all then something bad could happen to you as you may get worse - even if you think that’s impossible it’s truly not

Are you worried the GP will report you?

I am extremely worried yeah... I no what ur saying but I'm so paranoid... plus how do I no if my GP is actually my GP...

OP posts:
JennieTheZebra · 02/10/2024 21:59

I’m a Mental Health Nurse. Firstly, do you think you can keep yourself safe? If no, you need to ring 111/999 or go to A&E. If yes, who diagnosed the Borderline Personality Disorder? Can you get in touch with them tomorrow? Are you prescribed any medication that would help in this situation? About your kids, how old are they? MH services will try and support you at home as much as possible and will only admit you to hospital if absolutely necessary.

HiveMindEchoChamber · 02/10/2024 22:01

You need to seek support. You have some insight right now, because you're questioning symptoms and speaking about what you are struggling with/whether it's real. However if things escalate and you lose that insight, consider how that might be for your child to live through. Do the right thing for them, if you can't bring yourself to do it for you. They need a well parent.

Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 22:02

JennieTheZebra · 02/10/2024 21:59

I’m a Mental Health Nurse. Firstly, do you think you can keep yourself safe? If no, you need to ring 111/999 or go to A&E. If yes, who diagnosed the Borderline Personality Disorder? Can you get in touch with them tomorrow? Are you prescribed any medication that would help in this situation? About your kids, how old are they? MH services will try and support you at home as much as possible and will only admit you to hospital if absolutely necessary.

It was a psychiatrist about 10years ago in a completely different area to were I am now. Plus things r different now. On medication but only anti anxiety ones. Kids r under 16 ... youngest under 2.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 02/10/2024 22:04

Please please don’t think you will lose your children over this at all

Millions of parents up and down this country have various mental illnesses with different degrees of severity

Your illness can be controlled but in order to allow that you must reach out to your GP first thing tomorrow

Can you talk to your ex about what you are experiencing

JennieTheZebra · 02/10/2024 22:05

Have you tried taking the anti anxiety medication? It does sound like you’re having some very scary and confusing thoughts right now. Sometimes when we are very triggered/upset we may start to believe things that do not fully match up with other people’s experiences of reality but do seem very real to us. This can be particularly true if we are feeling very anxious. You need to try and trust that your GP is who they say they are, even if you do not fully believe it, but I know that might be very hard. Has your GP been helpful with your mental health before?

Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 22:06

Quitelikeit · 02/10/2024 22:04

Please please don’t think you will lose your children over this at all

Millions of parents up and down this country have various mental illnesses with different degrees of severity

Your illness can be controlled but in order to allow that you must reach out to your GP first thing tomorrow

Can you talk to your ex about what you are experiencing

I can't talk to him about anything.. let alone how I feel or what's going on with me. He uses alot against me

OP posts:
Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 22:09

JennieTheZebra · 02/10/2024 22:05

Have you tried taking the anti anxiety medication? It does sound like you’re having some very scary and confusing thoughts right now. Sometimes when we are very triggered/upset we may start to believe things that do not fully match up with other people’s experiences of reality but do seem very real to us. This can be particularly true if we are feeling very anxious. You need to try and trust that your GP is who they say they are, even if you do not fully believe it, but I know that might be very hard. Has your GP been helpful with your mental health before?

I am taking it as prescribed. My GP i havnt seen since moving to a new area

OP posts:
JennieTheZebra · 02/10/2024 22:36

It's really good that you're taking your medication as prescribed, if you're finding that it's not doing the job on its own then you might need something else as well to help take the edge off when things are really hard. If you haven't seen your new GP then who prescribed the medication? Your LO is still really tiny so you might have been seen by a team called the perinatal mental health team? It is important that you get some help soon but I know it can be really hard to reach out, especially if you don't know who to trust. It sounds like your ex is still in your life a lot and that you find him difficult to be around. Is there anyway you could see him less?

Original poster
Rach98 · 02/10/2024 22:57

JennieTheZebra · 02/10/2024 22:36

It's really good that you're taking your medication as prescribed, if you're finding that it's not doing the job on its own then you might need something else as well to help take the edge off when things are really hard. If you haven't seen your new GP then who prescribed the medication? Your LO is still really tiny so you might have been seen by a team called the perinatal mental health team? It is important that you get some help soon but I know it can be really hard to reach out, especially if you don't know who to trust. It sounds like your ex is still in your life a lot and that you find him difficult to be around. Is there anyway you could see him less?

The perinatal team saw me but had to discharge me when my lo turned 1. And it was the psychiatrist through them that prescribed it. He is in my life alot because he's my lo dad and supervised contact

OP posts:
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