Would this count as ‘intrusive’ thoughts and if so, what can I do?

[howshouldibehave]

I’ve had a stressful few months-in a horrible job I hate and feel very trapped there financially, several family bereavements, and another family member seriously ill now. I keep waking at 2/3/4/5am and feel like I could get back off to sleep, but my mind suddenly springs into action and remembers all of these horrible things and decides that I need to worry about them all and I start to spiral way out of control-palpitations etc

It’s not like I’m having intrusive thoughts that are telling me to hurt myself or do things I don’t want to, but they are intrusive because I just can’t push them out of my head and I don’t want to spend all night, as well as all day, in a state of perpetual stress and worry.

Are there any strategies I can try-obviously I can’t change most of these situations easily, but it’s getting to my alarm going off at 6 and I can barely function as I’ve been awake half the night. The doctor has changed my HRT, and was given beta blockers for the heart racing but that just stopped me sleeping properly altogether-I couldn’t get into a deep sleep at all, whereas without them, at least I got a few hours of sleep before my brain pinged into playing, ‘what shall we torture you with tonight?!’

I just feel like I am coming apart at the seams. I’m so tired now that I’m having totally over the top physical responses to fairly normal work- related situations now 😳

What really helps me to curtail middle of the night catastrophe spirals is to remind myself that your brain does not work properly at that time in the morning, which is partly the reason it is constantly searching for a solution but never finds one and the anxiety heightens.

Essentially your amygdala is always on (the bit that does fight, flight, freeze) as a constant measure to protect you from predators. Your neo-cortex which is the sensible, solution part doesn't work at that time so the former gets free rein.

Every time I wake up in the small hours and start to worry, I say to myself that my brain is not fully functioning and I'm getting carried away. That nothing was ever solved at that time in the morning and to revisit it when I've had some proper sleep.

It's hard but I keep training myself to say it as an automatic response. Sort of gives you permission to go back to sleep.

Pretty much perfect reply there from @hobbledyhoy

On a practical note you try do a couple of things;

1. Imagine you are in your car at night and it's raining. The thoughts are hitting the windscreen and being swept away before you register them
2. Stare (with your eyes closed) at a blank, non stick wall - mine is light grey at the top fading to black but you can chose any colour or non at all. As the thoughts come into your mind they hit the wall and slide harmlessly away into oblivion.
3. Simplest of all, when you wake just repeat 'no thoughts, no thoughts, no thoughts' in your mind. It becomes very boring very quickly and you soon fall back to sleep.

I had a very similar situation. Tried CBT, psychology, mediation, etc for about 1.5 years. Nothing worked.

finally went on sertraline to in July and has completely changed my life. No more escalating intrusive thoughts and sleeping soundly

I find listening to a sleep story or guided meditation on Calm or similar app helpful, as it gives the over-active brain something external to focus on. I rarely hear the end of the story. If it’s really bad, I do some box breathing too

Thank you-those are some really helpful responses.

I use the Calm app sleep stories when I go off to sleep which work well in cleaning my mind a bit. I should try that again when I wake in the night. My headphones are crap and normally start telling me they have low power if I try to use them twice without charging !

Breathing is working to a certain degree but I am really struggling to stop my
mind spiralling. I will try ‘no thoughts’ tonight.

I really don’t want to start taking anti-depressants (I don’t think really that I am depressed, I feel like I am just having a quite rational response to a series of really crap and stressful circumstances, but maybe that is depression?!) but wonder if they actually would help??

Anti- depressants can give you a break from the more exhausting symptoms of stress. I totally get your view that you’re having a rational response to circumstances, but the trouble is that if you’re waking so early all the time, you’re too exhausted to deal with things when the day starts.

I’m very prone to early morning waking from any stress, and what keeps it manageable is audiobooks. Nothing too busy or noisy, but if I pick the right one, listening can calm my mind and often send me back to sleep. They’re more effective for me than relaxation or meditation at that hour, because they transport me into a different place. Plus I think there’s something about hearing someone else reading that is very soothing - a deep memory of childhood maybe?

You can get them free from local libraries, or there’s Audible and similar. Probably best not to listen on your phone if you have another device, but can use your phone if there’s no alternative.

Hi OP. Similar situation to you, a busy and disruptive few years. Recently had surgery which hasnt gone well. I start worrying the moment I wake up.

But I NEVER worry over night or at bedtime. My brain says to my mind 'no, I'm too tired, I don't have the energy for this now, go away, I'm trying to sleep'.

I've just been referred for a mammogram by the breast nurse, which on top of my current health issues is a total PITA, and I did briefly consider worrying about it in the night on Friday. Then decided I was genuinely too tired to do any effective worrying about it in the night.

BTW op, if I'm awake at 4.30/5am I just get up and do my exercise.

Sorry you’re having such a rough time. Mindfulness could be helpful, especially letting go of the struggle to fight the thoughts and instead gently observing them while staying aware of your body. It can be very helpful.