My mum hates my child’s father

[Littleboymamaaa]

basically my partner and myself are proud parents to a little boy, when we got pregnant we decided to move in with my mum as she offered in order to help us save for our own family home. During my maternity leave my mum has taken a massive dislike towards my partner- she says such awful things about him on a daily basis (never to him just to me) it’s really becoming upsetting because how can my own mother hate the person I love the way she hates him?! There’s not even a reason for the things she says- she makes comments on his looks and saying about how I’ve fell so unlucky being with him- as there is no reason for all of this I’m finding myself becoming so upset constantly and I feel like I’m living on edge waiting to see what she’s going to say next. I really don’t know how to deal with this it’s completely ruining my mat leave and as I’m so upset I feel like I’m letting my baby down.. any advice would be so helpful xxx

Tell her to stop saying negative things about your DP or you will have to move out.

I have tried this, as we’re currently waiting for our mortgage to go through she knows that we don’t have anywhere else to go for the time being. Most days she threatens to kick the three of us out (incl her grandson) because I won’t leave my DP as she doesn’t approve

Is there anywhere else you could go?can you afford to rent short term?
How long is the mortgage going to take?

If it's a few weeks I'd hold on but basically be out of the house as much as possible. Any longer I'd look for alternative accommodation

We have been chasing the mortgage however they said it could still be a couple of months! There isn't anywhere else we could go, I'm thinking of looking into renting short term because we definitely need to get out as soon as possible.. I do already try to keep out as much as I can however with a 4 month old sometimes that can too be difficult. I was hoping to be able to sit down and talk it through with her however whenever I have tried it just gets so nasty and that in itself isn't a great environment for my little one😔 it's so difficult!

Maybe you could get an Airbnb or something? You should be enjoying your baby not putting up with this from your mum

Do you live near a holiday area - maybe worth talking to the manager of local sites to see if they might consider a couple of months rental, it's the end of the season.

Never thought of that! Something to definitely look into thanks! I know it's awful.. I feel like I'm losing valuable time with him due to being upset

I don't 😔 that would've been an idea though x

Any chance your mother is trying to break you up so you will end up staying with her?

That's exactly how it feels..

She's being malicious, she's jealous of your relationship, him out the way, she would control you and be in control. He's a threat to her. Cohesive control hunni. When she starts, just say, Mom I love you but I'm not listening to this and it's not fair on the baby, as it's his / her father. He's done nothing wrong, he works, supports us, and we love each other. Not worth arguing hun. I've been there. My mom forced me into a sterilisation after my son was born, I was 25 years old. I had a reversal to get pregnant with my third child. I was just married when we got pregnant, my mom told me to get an abortion, yet was amazing when my daughter was born. Honestly, she knows she has lost control of her little girl, she doesn't want you to grow up. She feels threatened by your partner (not physically but she knows your more towards him than her + she don't like it.). Just don't listen to it, go into another room, go for a walk. Just bide your time till you get your own property and your free from this control. Best wishes sweetheart xxx

she clearly doesn’t care about you either OP or she wouldn’t be actively making you so unhappy and feeling like you have to choose between them. Have you got any other family you could go to? What about your partner’s family?