So unhappy yet don’t know what the right thing to do is

[Jordy2000]

Hello, so I just found out that I am pregnant but I am so unhappy in my relationship. I was going to go back to the UK where I am from as I’m currently in the Philippines, then I found out I am pregnant and I feel so bad on my partner as he already has a child he doesn’t ever see. This is my first child, but I’m so scared because I don’t really like being here with him, I stay in bed as long as possible so I don’t have to spend the day with him. He talks to me like crap when he actually does speak to me, but most of the time we don’t even laugh we don’t talk we don’t do anything together, he sits on his phone most of the day, and if he’s not on his phone he’s talking to me like shit. When he knows I’m at breaking point he will cuddle me and tell me I’m overthinking but that’s the only time he is affectionate, other than this he doesn’t ever acknowledge me because he’s on his phone. We don’t even have a conversation about anything. I get scared to talk to him because he gets so annoyed so easily. I really want to go home, but i don’t know what the right thing to do is. If I stay here and have this baby with him, it’ll be harder for me to leave but I am so unhappy here it’s ruining my mental health, I don’t want to eat or get out of bed or do anything and I’ve never been like this in a relationship before.

How long have you been together? My personal
opinion is come back to the UK it won't get any better.

That sounds really hard for you.

Please leave to come back go the UK. Do you have money to do that? Do you have family or friends back in the Uk? I'm sure they would not want you to be suffering with someone who treats you so badly

Definitely leave and go back home to the UK. With a child in the mix, things will only get worse. How he treats you will be how he treats his child, but possibly worse.

Firstly, congratulations on the pregnancy. I know it may not feel like it in your current situation but it is wonderful news.

Secondly, if it was me I would come back to the UK.

You said he already has a child he doesn't see. This is either 1) by choice, which means he's not that bothered or 2) the child's mother not wanting him to, which means she has a reason for it.

Based on what you've said I'd probably go with the 2nd option as she more than likely experienced the same behaviour from him that you're currently going through.

Also you don't deserve to be spoken to like crap or made to feel wary. A relationship is about communication and safety. These types of behaviour tend to escalate, so I'd advise getting out of there before it does for you and your baby.

The thing that is making it so difficult I don’t really have any family support and I’m 24, I’m at such a lost stage in life I really don’t know what to do. This is what we wanted, but as soon as I found out his true colours and I was going to leave I found out I was pregnant. I really thought that being pregnant would make things different. One minute he wants me to stay and he is caring for me and bringing me food, the next he just calls me useless and tells me to go home to the uk and have an abortion. He switches so easily. My head really is a mess, and being pregnant is making my emotions worse.

As the father, him telling you to have an abortion is a horrible thing to say especially when other times he's saying he's happy. At the moment it may just be emotional abuse, but these tend to progress to physical. Get out while you can!
A little support from family is better than what the baby daddy will give you. Also, upon your return and once notified the NHS of you're pregnancy, you will have support from midwives and if you feel up to it you can attend prenatal classes and make friends with other soon to be mums.

Leave. Have the baby in the uk. Build a life for yourself away from this man.

Statistically it will get worse when you have the baby and once the baby is born you may not be allowed to relocate to the uk.

Imagine if he treats the baby poorly too.

Come back to the UK. I'd put your baby's needs before his on the priority list and if your mental health would be better in the UK then that's best for both you and baby.