I think I’m in or going into crisis again

[Riley1989]

I don’t want to go to a&e because I’m not actively suicidal like I was before but everything just feels hopeless and I feel so desperately unwell and tired. I can’t eat, can’t stop crying and just feel so pathetic. I was like this before the start of my last crisis when I made my plan to end it. I’m already on the “priority” waiting list for therapy again but they said it will likely be 6months before I see anyone. What do I do? My crisis plan from before just says go to a&e or call 999 but I don’t think I’m there, yet. We have so many important plans for the next week and I don’t want to let anyone down so I’m just trying to pretend I’m ok but I don’t think I am ok 😓

Can you recognise what's triggered these feelings?

@Eyesopenwideawake Im having a lot of health problems and investigations atm and I have emetophobia and we have just had a stomach bug in the house which has been the last straw for me I think.

Make an urgent GP appointment. You're GP can make a referral to mental health teams. If you're on medication it sounds like it's not working or needs to be adjusted.

Rethink have a good helpline for advice and you can call the Samaritans to talk.

https://www.england.nhs.uk/2024/08/nhs-111-offering-crisis-mental-health-support-for-the-first-time/

Very happy to have a chat with you about the emetophobia if you think it would help.

You can also message me about the emetophobia (I'm recovered-ish). Hope you are ok, OP.

Firstly, are you on antidepressants? If not, I would seriously think about starting them. If nothing else they will help you to be stable enough to get the maximum benefit from therapy when you do get it.

If you are on medication, I see if you can get a fairly urgent appointment with your GP to see if the dosage can be tweaked, another medication added or it might be better to change to a different medication. I think that the " not there yet" period is exactly the right time to do this. The GP can see that you are just about holding on, but might not be if just left to wait it out.

If you have recently been ill, it is likely that your body is in need of rest and recuperation. Try and get some rest and recovery time in the next week or two. This might look like lying down for an hour and listening to a talking book, doing some relaxing meditations ( Google and there are free ones online) making sure as far as you can that you are eating healthily, going for a gentle walk in a natural environment, taking a multivitamin. I know all these things are hard when you are low but try and do just a little bit ( eg add some extra frozen veg or a piece of fruit to your meal). I think it is unlikely that you will initially feel any better emotionally for doing this but just keep telling yourself that you are doing to help your body. It may eventually improve your mindset and at least you are helping yourself rest.

I don't know what your finances are like but do see if it might be possible to afford some kind of private therapy in the short term. See who is local to you on BACP or UKCP. You can contact them and see if they would be a good fit for your needs, if they have vacancies and if they have a sliding scale of fees to help those on low incomes! Be honest with them about your issues and how you are currently feeling and they will be honest about what they can offer.

I hope you manage to find things to support you x

Thank you all for your messages! I’m not on any medication other then propranolol as when I tried to take SSRIs in the past I went into anaphylactic shock so all drs are hesitant to prescribe me anything and when they prescribed me a tricilyctic antidepressant I had a panic attack just before taking it because I was terrified about ending up being rushed to hospital in an ambulance again 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m having a flare up of my OCD tonight and that hasn’t happened for ages so I know I’m getting sick again. I will reach out to my GP again but I’m a bit stuck with what she’s going to be able to do really and I feel very hopeless. Had a couple of thoughts tonight that once my husband and daughter are in bed asleep I’m going to leave and not come back (not in a suicide way, a run away way) because they are better off without me 😭

Please keep chatting here OP if you can face it, reach out to the Samaritans, or text “shout” to 85258 for NHS approved text chat help from a really great service.
Are next week’s plans overwhelming you? Your health is much more important than the feeling you’re letting anyone down. If those are loved ones, they would 100% rather have cancelled plans than seeing your MH deteriorate further.
You are important, you are special to people and they are not remotely better off with you not there, even if that’s just leaving rather than anything more drastic.
Please reach out to someone xx

Just let those random thoughts flow through your mind. Could you try the tricyclics if you had some support with you when you take it - eg get someone to talk you through some breathing exercises, or could you take some propranolol before hand to reduce your anxiety about it.

They are very different drugs to SSRIs so absolutely no reason why you should react to them.