Autistic? Now what?

[Lallyhead87]

I'm 39 and recently realised I'm very likely autistic to some degree. Mainly effects me socially, I struggle to know what to say, when to say it. I find eye contact difficult and have to make myself focus on someone's eyes it just doesn't come naturally.
I like to be alone or just immediate family and after a certain length of time socialising I switch off and shut down.
Other traits as well and I scored very high in a test.
So I could go and get diagnosed but even if its confirmed what do I do about it?
Should I be trying to socialise more or practice eye contact? Is there any benefit to confirming?

My husband went for a diagnosis. It's been very helpful for him personally, he understands himself better. As a couple it's helped us identify why the hell we can't communicate and we are trying some things. In work, he got Access to Work funding which is helping him tackle stuff in his business he's normally ignore due to stress. (Dunno what long term impact this will have though). Hth

Hi @Lallyhead87 just wanted to say you’re not alone. I feel the same, pretty sure I have autistic traits/ autism. I find social situations painful and I always feel like I’m different. I think most people who get a diagnosis say it helps x

@Lallyhead87

I think the point in having a diagnosis in adulthood is that it should help you understand who you are. Depending on the level at which you are impacted, when you understand why, you may be able to learn strategies to help you cope.

Many people with ND conditions find social situations and the effort of trying to conform or fit in, exhausting.
My son has ASD and is 20. He is actually a very sociable person, but when he was younger he found social things very very hard. He still finds being with people exhausting. I have long accepted that when he comes in from work, he needs time to decompress, just as he did after school. When he's ready he will reappear. I spent years watching him hide under a blanket when things got too much, now he sticks his head phones on. Because we both understand what is going on with him we have worked out a way of living together which enables him to function in the world without me mistaking his behaviours for something else.

So no you shouldn't force yourself to have eye contact if that makes you feel uncomfortable, no you shouldn't force yourself into social situations because you think that's 'normal' and it's what you should do. And if you need that downtime, take it.
I did support a member of my team at work in getting a diagnosis. It helped him to stop thinking of himself as 'wierd' or he would say to 'embrace the wierd'. We were able to put adjustments in place for him. We also did some work with the rest of the dept on autism awareness, it helped to diffuse some tensions and change some basic expectations of how we should all behave.
I would go for an assessment, I hope you will find it helpful