Hello I am asking fellow mums for there Honesty, please?.
So when L was younger his step farther(SF) abused him, slapped him, strangled him, sat on him, he is a big man bare in mind and L was in primary school don't know exact age, he also hid his stuff, L had a problem with his bladder, so his SF used lock him outside knowing L would wet himself, also if L had peed in the garden his SF would tell his mum and L would be in trouble, so L had no option but to wet himself, this happened every day for a long time. One day L tells his mum what his SF had been doing. But his mum didn't believe him, his SF said he was lying and just saying it to try and split us up, his mum said he has a vivid imagination. L never spoke of the abuse again. His mum had to end up having electric shock treatment so she had forgotten everything. Skip to a couple of years ago, L came out with it again the abuse in front of his mum and SF and his SF admitted it to his mum the same day but not in front of L. L got gaslit by both of them alot and was told to let go of the past and to just get over it, L being L always has tried to put the past him and try and be the better person and try and have a relationship with his SF but he just couldn't let go of what happened to him. They all fell out not last Christmas but Christmas before that and he has managed to start a relationship back up with his mum early this year. But He cannot understand why his mum is staying with the man who hurt and abused him. If it was me and I found out years later that my husband was abusing my son, and my son told me when it was happening and I didn't believe him, my husband would be gone I'd kick him to the street and we'd be getting divoriced, but for some reason she has stayed with him. He has asked his mum why she is still with him but she cannot give good enough reasons, recently he gave her an ultimatum which was I cannot keep rebuilding our relationship back up if you are still with him, so he said it's me or him and she has chosen her husband. Bare in mind she has told L that her husband makes her unhappy, she doesn't love him, their relationship is more like a friendship. We sleep in the same bed yes but we don't kiss each other good night, we don't hug often, he makes her feel lonely, we don't hold hands when we go out. He makes her miserable. But she has still chosen him. He has asked her if she is staying with him for a punishment to herself but she said no.
So what I am asking is this....
Mums if you found out years later that your husband abused your son, found out what he did to him every day for a very long time and found out when your son told you when it was happening, but you didn't believe him, would you stay with your husband? And if your son gave you the ultimatum would you chose your husband or your son? Also his mum keeps telling L that he is so precious to her, she loves him so much, he means everything to her, that she isn't going to lose him again... But her actions are proving different. L is her only son btw he is an only child.