Not sure if the place to post - anxiety problems making life a misery!

[greeneyedgirl]

I have a high anxiety level (esp since going through break up of my marriage and subsequent relationship) and I am finding things hard. I have IBS, which is mainly brought on by stress and this in turn makes me even more anxious, I bloody live on immodium and I'm fed up! I can generally cope from day to day, but recently another problem has cropped up and I am so angry with myself, feel like giving up.

I am in a new relationship (coming up to 4 months) and he is totally wonderful and very lovely to me, BUT, every time we are due to meet up (be it at my house, or his, or going out) I seem to get into a big panic and end up having a stomach upset/nausea and sometimes even a full blown panic attack. This means I tend to feel rubbish when I am with him, and i hate myself for it. It is not him at all, he tells me how wonderful and beautiful I am all the time, but I am just terrified of him finding out that in reality I am just a rubbish person.

I am on 25mg of amitryptaline (sp) for the anxiety and IBS, which does help day to day, it's mainly when I am with him that I seem to go a bit insane. I don't understand why I do it, because he is amazing and I really want to be with him. This is starting to make me feel depressed and I have even considered ending the relationship because it is not fair on him to be with someone like me, I mean he wants us to go out for the day (which in theory I would LOVE to do) but the thought of that frightens me, in case I show myself up and get ill. My Mum reckons it is because he means alot to me and I have a fear that he will run if knows the "real" me, but she says I need to find a way through. I really want to be normal, but how do I do it? Sorry for the length, just at the end of my tether.

Poor you. I have suffered from similar anxiety on and off. Stress leading to nausea and sometimes panic attacks. The nausea was particularly hard for me as I am really phobic of being sick so the nausea fed the anxiety and it was a vicious circle.

Eventually I got Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It was brilliant. I have not looked back. In my case my GP referred me so I got it on the NHS, but in some areas you have to pay. It is not long term therapy - 3 months normally suffices, so costs are limited. I also took up Yoga which helped me relax. I would really recommend doing both.

I hope you feel better able to cope soon.

greeney, I suffer with anxiety too so I know exactly how you feel.
I cant go out without having an attack. Its horrid.

I would say its the anticipation of meeting your dp which builds up and you have a panic attack.

Is it easier if he comes to your house?

i have the ridiculous unfounded anxiety thing too.
shit, isnt it??

i have finally been referred to the CMHT and they in turn have arranged for me to do a mindfulness CBT group thingy. havnt done it yet, but looking forward to it (in a paralysing muted-panicky 'omg what if it doesnt work and im just an unhelpable fuckup' sort of way, of course )

talk to your gp. MAKE them hear you and get you referred to talk to someone to help you with anxiety, which will/does lead to depression.

good luck

CBT is good for things like anxiety. There is an on-line course available on prescription you could ask your GP about.

Is there really FMF?

I've been refered to a CPN and am just awaiting a response from them.

It's called Beating The Blues - NBG I know it was available in yorks last year. I don't know much about it per se, as you have to be referred to access the site etc but I know 2 or 3 of our clients have used it and found it helpful. There is not a lot of CBT available (low-cost, anyway) out there and some people benefit from taking some control of things for themselves.

Found a bit more info
here

CBT sounds like a good plan. Artichokes, what sort of things did you do on your course and were you scared it wasn't going to work? By the way I am an emetephobe too, nausea often worsens the panic.

I must admit, I used to be worse than I am now, passing my driving test last year has made me more independent and not having to rely on lifts or public transport is a god send.

Ngb, I agree it is the anticipation and although I am not so panicked when he comes to my house, I am living with my parents at the mo (as am totally skint after marriage breakdown), so it is a bit crowded with the them there lol. Saying that I have had an upset stomach/nausea, when he has come to my house, so I have no idea why that happened!

I think I do need to go back to my GP and find out about CBT. Thank you.

Thanks FMF.
I did do a bit of CBT last year but I couldnt bear it.
Half of my anxiety is about medical things and I couldnt bring myself to go into the Dr's for the appts.

Greeny, at least you are aware of the symptoms and the fact it kind of fuels the anxiety.
You get anxious, you then feel nauceous, then you panic and it continues.

I think though that some of your anxiety is normal considering your circumstances.
Marriage breakdown, new dp, him visiting you at your parents.
All those things will cause some anxiety.

I've been given a list of books from my HV that you can get at the library if you want me to list them?

Oh and FWIW greeny, while you are an emetephobe, I have a fear of passing out and as you'll probably know you can feel like you are about to pass out when your having a panic attack as you can feel like your going to be sick too.

Greeney - yes I was worried that the CBT would not work. I thought that if CBT failed I would have no hope and have to live a half-lived life forever. Then I started the CBT and hated it and thought it wasn't making much difference. But I stuck with it and worked really hard on every exercise I was set and I began to improve. I have been so much better ever since. I still have my bad days but they are fewer and further between (except at the moment, because I have bad morning sickness, but that is another story).

I've suffered from anxiety & phobias on & off for years & have just completed a course of hypnotherapy to see if it helped.It really has made a difference,so much so,that the thing that I was phobic about barely affects me at all now.

I honestly didn't think anything could help,but didn't want to spend the rest of my life anxious & panicky.The thought of the treatment failing was the thing that scared me most of all really-then what would I do?

Anyway,it has helped enormously & if I get anxious now,I know that I have been taught ways to deal with it,which it turn makes me less anxious.I still worry about stuff,but that is just the way I am,but it affects me far,far less than it would have done before.

I believe that IBS can be helped by hypnotherapy too.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Thanks again guys. How much did your hypnotherapy cost FG? I would do anything if I thought it could ease my symptoms, I just don't want to live a life of fear. The funny thing is though, took my DD out for the day with my STBE husband at short notice, I was driving. Usually this would have panicked me, but I made my mind up that I would be ok and I was, I didn't take ANY Immodium at all. The weird thing is my STBE husband irritates me intensely, but I love spending time with my new DP, so I don't understand why I have this problem!!

i have found that since taking Citalopram for depression (which has worked much!) it has helped my anxiety levels 100%

i used to blush BRIGHT red at everything, even if someone just said hello to me, and get nervous going in shops or to meet up with people. it got so bad that i was going out less and less as i was so jittery and self conscious.

Then my marriage fell apart and i needed anti depressants just to get through the day - and i noticed that i suddenly felt really confident and can now talk to anyone and never ever get the shakes or go red any more!