I recently went through a situation at work which has trigged some things
For context I spent years of my younger life in a extremely abusive violent relationship and subsequent years watching that play out in court
I was diagnosed with C-PTSD and spent along time working with a psychologist who specialises in such
For the last few years I've been relatively ok and I know what triggers me
The work situation seems to have trigged some sort of breakdown
Several times through the day I feel like I can not get any air in, I literally can't breathe
All day long my stomach does somersaults and i feel a constant impending sense of doom
Despite having beautiful wonderful DC and a lovely husband who has brought me so much happiness I no longer want to get out of bed
I feel like I can't even drive because of how bad my nerves are
My husband has suggested leaving the job , this brings about hysterics as I feel I will be meeting my DC down if I do so as my job helps fund education , holidays so then again panic consumes me
And I can feel no way out
Even speaking to the doctor is hard as making phone calls and speaking to what might be male doctor who may not be nice ( I have met scary doctors ) again makes me panic
Because of the PTSD I can perceive non threatening situations to be horrific
So all in all I feel in a doomed situation and I can't calm down
My hearts racing typing this
I feel sick , I keep having to take big breaths and I don't know how to make it stop
Has anyone been here
Does anyone have helpful suggestions
And please no nasty comments I know it's not necessary to pay for the kids education or for them to go on holidays and it's first world problems but I'm still entitled to feel pressured and worried