Do you feel conscious of how people perceive you?

[Pink2020]

It’s a random question, but do you? I feel like I am always hyper aware of how people perceive me, and that will then have an affect on how comfortable I am around them and how I act around them. Sometimes it’s positive and I feel like I can be myself and sometimes it’s negative meaning I might feel judged in some way and then not feel that comfortable…is this normal? I can’t switch it off and sometimes I just wish I could be completely myself around anyone I know family/friends/work colleagues etc

I used to feel like this, and it was a factor in my recurring low-mood and depressive episodes. Part of recovery from a years-long breakdown for me involved learning how not to care about how people perceived me, and not give it any significant headspace.

I still try to treat people as I would like to be treated myself, but I spend no time at all worrying about what people think of me. In hindsight I view that as a form of self-hate and self-harm, and ultimately I don't think it's in any way healthy. I wouldn't describe my thoughts and feelings as "anxiety", rather, it was a case of being far too self-conscious and preoccupied with being judged.

I think part of that naturally goes away with ageing, but I also made a deliberate choice to simply stop caring about it for the sake of my mental wellbeing.

Thanks, I guess it’s just part of who I am and not got to let it affect me too much! Oh I totally agree with the age thing…I am definitely more comfortable with saying no to things I don’t want to do now I am in my 30s! It just annoys me sometimes how much I feel aware of other peoples view of me, but I’ll have to work on it!

Yes, but I have social anxiety, ASD, and mostly fixed codependency issues (not sure this ever goes away? but I’ve made huge improvements in this regard).

It’s definitely something you can work on, though. See it as a bad habit, like nail-biting, that often gets in the way of healthy social interactions, because if you’re thinking about how you’re coming across/being perceived all the time, it means you’re not focusing on the other person as a person, only on how they might be seeing you. Which can come across as self-absorption or arrogance.

Much healthier to centre yourself.