How to stop caring about what other people think?

[Hihellogoodbye]

how to stop overthinking and caring about what other people think or say about me?
there’s this mum at school that I’ve been pretty close to in the last couple of years and she’s literally blanking me for no reason .

this is just an example of a situation that is getting to me.
I'm always overthinking constantly and it’s getting pretty frustrating. My heart rate goes up and my anxiety kicks in .

what is it that you do in order not to care or ignore these situations?

I had a friend like this many years ago who would just stop speaking for weeks at a time and then pick up as if nothing had happened. Most of the time through other people I was able to work out she was annoyed at me for something (usually a misunderstanding) but was completely unable to have a normal conversation and thought the silent treatment was an appropriate response.

Once I reframed it and understood that she had the problem there not me, I pulled back hard and no longer had much to do with her.

I understand what you mean. I try and remember things like the blanking are to do with the other person, but it's hard not to take it personally. CBT might help.

I suddenly stopped caring at perimenopause, and I’d spent my life crippled by the anxiety of what other people thought of me. I’ve gone off most people now, and therefore have no wish to please them or to make them like me.

To be fair it would be a bit unusual to not worry about/try to figure out why someone who was formerly friendly is now not.

Anxiety is the emotion that's triggered when there's something too important to ignore, and an increased heart rate is a side effect of heightened awareness so, again, all completely normal (even if it doesn't feel great). You could try box breathing exercises to teach your mind and body to calm itself.

Thank you both.

i really don’t know what I did. Maybe myself I’ve been quiet on school drop offs /collections but she never approached me and started avoiding me.

i have been struggling a bit with life worries like my job (which gives me a lot of stress and I know I need to change) and my husband’s health (he has diabetes and his sugars levels have been pretty high recently and he’s been struggling a lot) so overall I wasn’t the most talkative
i guess we all have worries and problems but we all cope differently and I just become quiet.

Thank you will google this and try.

I used to be a right anxious mess.

Nowadays I see it as we're only on this earth for a spec of time, it's really nothing compared to how long the earth & even the universe has existed for. Nobodies going to remember in a few weeks time or even decades down the line what you did today; even what happens tomorrow or next year!
So do whatever you want to do. It'll be yesterday's news if you do mess up and likelihood is you won't mess up.
Aniexty is a thief of time & joy.