Anxiety, depression and burnout after moving

[user1480677551]

Last year we moved to a house for space and for an area which offered schools with a good reputation. Pretty normal reasons for moving. At the time, myself and DH were home working all the time and had a pretty lucky work life balance.

We moved counties 10 miles apart with a view to shifting our lives to where we moved to. 12 mths on we have a house in one place and our lives still in another where we have moved from … mainly driven by both of our jobs which have changed so much. DH is totally based travelling every day and is never around and I’m in an office 5 days a week where we were … We havent moved schools, classes or clubs because they are all located near to my job and work so logistically it seems the best thing to do.

The travelling back and forth each day, compounded by huge stress from work, family illness and bereavements has led me to burnout triggering depression and anxiety and I dont feel like I know who I am any more. I’m not a nice person to be around and I’m not the mum I used to be or need to be. I feel so bad for taking our DC away from our happy family home for nothing. All of it has been for nothing and a huge mistake and waste of money which I can’t stop beating myself up for and quite often its hard to see a way out. I know how this sounds and its dramatic but thas what depression tricks me into believing every day. I feel like im such a letdown to my DC for being like this. I worry this is damaging them all the time.

Ive had CBT which helped to some extent but I feel so helpless and lonely … none of my family ir friends really lnow what to say anymore and have stopped taling to me. How how have we got it so wrong. Even if we move back when we can eventually afford it, what a waste of lost time feeling like this in such a mess when we were so happy.

Has anyone else ever been in a similar position and felt the same and come out the other side/got through burnout?

Is changing your job an option? Have you bought property or are you renting? In your situation I would brainstorm everything, literally everything, on a piece of paper that could improve things.

I've been in the situation many times of feeling like one decision has dictated everything only to realise further down the line that I had options. Hence why suggest the brainstorming. Even if they are small changes.

Hello OP, I am having a bit of difficulty understanding where the problem is. You say you have moved 10 miles away from your previous life and this has ruined everything? Don't you think you are slightly exaggerating?

Many people spend hours in transit morning and evening . Many people travel miles and miles as part of their jobs every day. And in some large cities and countries , living within 10 miles from work would be considered incredibly lucky.

Maybe if you could try to relativize the distance and realize that living next door is rarely possible then perhaps you will be able to see your problems in a new light.
You sound exhausted and burnt out mostly from being a very busy mum and employee and deserve some self care time and more help at home. Try not to be so hard on yourself or expect perfection.