I have an 18 month old and a 4 year old and my husband (and father of my children) had an affair and left 10 months ago. He now lives across the country and doesn’t have anything to do with his children. I am struggling to no end with my 4 year old. She has massive full blown public tantrums, she screams in my face and says ‘you make me so sad’ when I ask her to do something. She doesn’t sleep, she is completely defiant and doesn’t listen to a word I say. I often don’t leave the house because I don’t know how to manage her behaviour in public which isn’t fair on her little brother. When she is excessively screaming and having a meltdown I have to walk away because honestly I want to hurt her and I have to leave to regulate myself. If I don’t want to hurt her then I certainly want to do some serious damage to myself. I moved to a city 5 hours away from my own family and friends to be with my then husband so when he left I am stuck here with zero support and unable leave due to logistics of jobs, finances and daughters school. I don’t know how to handle her and I go to bed wishing not to wake up because I cannot face another day of trying to navigate her behaviour