I’ve been very lucky to not have suffered with my mental for the majority of my life. I’m 51 now and going through the menopause, now on HRT which has helped to regulate my mood. But I’m 8 months into a new job - lots of responsibility, tough work, staff not keen on me as the newbie, sleep severely affected, think regular 3am awake for hours. Also care for my mum. Relationship with DH deteriorating and can’t imagine staying till we’re old and grey (been together 25 years). Recently I’ve had bouts of crying where I just can’t stop. Also feeling detached and removed from things as though I’m an onlooker on my own situation. Sometimes I arrive somewhere by car and I can’t remember the journey at all. I do sometimes think about going out for a walk and just not coming back. I’m starting to worry about being able to keep myself safe but then I also feel like I just can’t be bothered with any of it.