Anxiety feeling of dread ruling my life

[Keepingcosy]

Hi, I've had anxiety most of my life. I made the decision not to go down the medication route anymore because of side effects.

Life has been good recently, I'm a SAHM, I am coping with my kids/ have a good social life, anxiety has been very manageable.

However I'm trying to start up a business from home & have begun to be asked orders. I can't go through with them because the pressure to fulfill fills me with dread. My heart starts pounding fast and it can last for days until I finally cave & come out with an excuse that I can't do it. I feel like I'm losing it & having a heart attack.

Looking back, I've had this feeling under pressure for years. I used to freelance & started habitually turning down work before I got pregnant.

I'm afraid the only work I'll be able to take on in the future will be cleaning gigs or post rounds. Things with no pressure & these jobs are fine but not fulfilling my own talents & aspirations.

Any advice on what I can do to overcome this?

This is a really common issue for lots of people - which is good because it means there's lots of help out there!

When we are about to take on any sort of challenge, we will often attempt to overcome any doubt in our ability to succeed by reminding ourselves of the times when we have overcome something similar in the past. However, when it comes to doing something completely new, something we have never attempted before and have no experience of doing, where do we find the confidence to step up and face the challenge? How do we find the courage to step out of our comfort zone?

First of all think of all the things you've done for the first time in your life - the first time you rode your bicycle without stabilisers, the first day at school, your first kiss, etc, etc. We're scared of most new things the first time and then, poooof! it's the second time and it's not quite as scary and by the tenth time it's second nature.

The fact is, no matter how unfamiliar we might be with the challenge ahead and how inexperienced we feel in that area, we actually have vast amounts of experience in doing things for the first time and getting through it. It’s our experience of being inexperienced that helps us have faith in our ability to try new things, which in turn leads to growth and development.

On a practical front, talk to your clients - tell them your story and offer them a freebie or deep discount to take the pressure off yourself. The vast majority of people will be kind and understanding, the ones that aren't are never going to be good customers no matter what you do.

Good luck!!

Thank you so much for the advice, I think the bit about drawing from experience sticks out to me. I feel I'm jumping the gun a bit in this new venture without having enough experience and need to take some baby steps towards it rather than plunging in.

Maybe take a course, practice more and do a 'fake' business to family at first or donate my product to a charity.

Thanks for sparking some ideas and I'm glad it's a common thing.