Walking Away For Everyone's Sake

[MrChat]

I have an ex who has mental health issues resulting in her being sectioned for a month and then let home on medication which has done very little to improve her thoughts and behaviour.

She ends up in a psychosis believing people are following her, people are installing devices in her house, gambling in her name and planting letters and paperwork under hr couch to make her feel "mad".

At her peak she thinks I'm the ringleader of this gang and she can become very aggressive.

This week she came to my house, tried to stab my tyres and sent me a text saying she was going to stab my ex, I had to call the Police for a welfare check as I was concerned about her health and also what she might do.

Since we have known each other I have felt I need to support her as she has no family due to issues, lost a baby and been surrounded by people who are no good for her, the sort of people who suggest taking drugs are good and sit around all day not working etc.

When social work or nurses are looking for her they call me, and ask me to help make sure she takes meds etc but even when I tell them how some of her thoughts are dangerous i.e taking TVs to bits or disconnecting live sockets looking for bugs they say there is little they can do and just leave her.

I have never been around this level of mental health before but they just seem to leave her and as long as shes not going to harm herself, let he be like this.

As much as I care I feel i can't offer any more support, the fact shes threatening the mother of my kids, the fact she wanting to be friends with these people because its "all shes got" worries me for her even more.

I really want to get some time away but worried to leave her alone as she will just latch onto these people and it will become even worse. Her family are useless and I doubt the nurses will go out their way to check in.

Any tips or suggestions on how to deal with this

Sad to say I think you are right to walk away, you have neither the MH training to cope with her illness nor the legal responsibility for her welfare. You could do a couple of things - write to her doctor and social worker, and maybe the police, (by recorded delivery) to say you are not her legal guardian and they should not contact you again in relation to her care. Plus you could (if you think it would do any good) get in touch with your local MP to highlight the lack of care she's receiving.

Then walk away. You have your own life to lead.

Yup they just tend to leave you.

I attempted last year went straight to the doctor and they said yes you're highly suicidal and then let me go with no idea of where I was going or If I had support. They said they'd call me. They called a week later and said I didn't meet margins for help teams. Thankfully the nurse got me under the home team and then transferred through to adult support. Since I've been under them they've medicated me and seen me twice in the year. Because I'm living independently am good at communicating and present well in clinic they just let me do what I want. I'm not seen as needing hwlp/support.

I wish you luck.

If you can't do it, it's best you don't ans that's for your own mental health. It's draining X

Email the mh team, nurses, social worker and community mh team, copy in the local police and mp. Say you are not her guardian or nearest relative and they are not to contact you again unless to tell you she's in hospital if that's what you are OK with you tell them all she has sent you threatening messages and is coming to your house uninvited and making threats, you make it clear she is a danger to herself and others and that you are stepping back and they need to protect you too.