Pep talk required? In a slump

[Tradewipe]

Not sure why this happens to me (I have ASD (and possibly ADHD) so maybe ND is a factor) but I have cycles of being really productive followed by a total slump where my life sort of falls apart.

I am self-employed and have periods of several weeks or months where I am incredibly productive, making and keeping my own deadlines. During these periods I am really sociable, I eat well and cook lots of meals from scratch, I’m on top of life admin, I exercise and just generally feel like I’m keeping all my plates spinning.

Then something changes, I can’t find any motivation to work, I stop cooking and live on corner shop junk food while vegetables rot in the fridge, I can’t be bothered to see people, I stop exercising, the washing up piles up, I sit inside watching tv and gaining weight instead of enjoying the weather or getting things done. These periods last for weeks or months as well. No matter what I try to put in place to jolt myself out of it.

This cycle has repeated itself over and over for as many years as I can remember. I’m not depressed, but I am really frustrated during the slumps. It feels like such a waste.

Does anyone recognise this in themselves? I have had some counselling/mental health appointments in the past (before my ASD was diagnosed) and bipolar was ruled out.
I really make the most of the productive periods because I know another slump is around the corner.
I can’t identify any triggers for the transition between the two states.

How do I pep talk myself out of these slumps please? Or keep them at bay?

The problem you have is not the slump - it's the going hell for leather

If you could see that adding it all together you have a perfectly normal distribution of activity and cut yourself a fucking break then you'd be happier

I also have adhd, and I'm a psychotherapist. Some months I achieve the moon on a stick, other months I stare into space and 'be'.

It all evens out in the end if you're not a cock to yourself

Thanks. It doesn’t feel like I’m going hell for leather though. More like normal happy life. I’m definitely not manic during those periods. I relax and have days off.
Whereas the slumps are all consuming - if I do a load of laundry or wash my hair it feels like a major achievement. I’m not averse to being kind to myself and saying ‘ok, today you’re not feeling it. Put your feet up and watch Eastenders and eat chocolate. It doesn’t matter’. But when that goes on for weeks and weeks it really does feel like a problem.

Are you medicated ? Elvance for the adhd.?

I agree with the PP that your activity level is not sustainable so it is inevitable that you will crash and burn after a while. Do you think you have unrealistic expectations of yourself?

I’m not diagnosed with ADHD, only ASD, so I don’t take meds for ADHD.

I really don’t think I have overly high expectations of myself during my ‘positive’ periods. I relax with my partner every evening, and have weekends off work. I don’t have children and my job is very flexible, so I also have the option to take days off when I fancy it. I enjoy the productive periods, rather than them being manic periods of excessive activity.

I’m trying to imagine how much more slack I could cut myself during the ‘good’ bit of these cycles but I really can’t see which elements could be problematic. They feel pretty easy-going and comparable to the lives of my friends/family.

I'm like this but there is usually a trigger.

Pandemic - isolation
Previous year - difficult emotional things
Last year - work stress
Etc.

What have I learned? Honestly you can't get rid of external stress. Control what I can and roll with the rest. Let myself have a non doing day if I need it and do not feel guilty. Have low key tasks for those times. Don't let myself eat crap for too long. Etc.

I have a well trodden pathway back to balance which usually involves sorting my diet out as that gives me an energy boost and committing to exercise at least twice a week. It hurts at first though!