Please help !! Abortion :(((

[ShyLionesss]

i need advice asap hopefully today as tomorrow I have my pre op for surgical abortion,, so I have a 23 year old son and a 71/2 month old ,, I’m currently pregnant about 7 week
He Wants an abortion
I want this baby !! But I would be doing it on my own he made it clear
I been thinking of how I can keep this baby on my own with a young baby already,, I’m currently 42 and have grand mal seizures and eating disorders
I love my girl so fucking much I could just eat her lol
but it gets hard I won’t lie ,, I have almost had a break down and I’m always so so tired 🥱
I can’t or won’t be able to cope with 2 under 2 I don’t have family or friends at all so no support network
he said he won’t help or anything,, I have tried looking for nannie and mothers help so I can do this but it’s too expensive:(( my son has moved to Lake District which is 5 hours from me so he can’t help !! I’m torn so torn !!!

Ultimately the decision is yours, however, considering your health, exhaustion and personal circumstances I think your partner is making sense and a termination is very sensible.
Relying on your 23 year old to help in any significant way would not be fair to them even if they were in the area.
I would say it would be better to focus on your wellbeing and eating disorder recovery before you decide to bring a human that you yourself say you won’t be able to cope with.

I've been in a position where I've been pregnant and alone and had to decide whether to have an abortion or not. It's a heartbreaking decision to make, I desperately wanted the child but by having it I would have put an enormous amount of pressure on the people around me and my daughter would have massively suffered, and the time I worked long hours and if I gave up that job I would be giving up a independent financial life for myself and child. It was utterly devastating but it was the right decision for my child and extended family.

Sometimes as women we have to make the most heartbreaking decisions for the best of everyone.

However saying that, this is your body and your choice, you have to make that call.

Also when it happened to me, the relationship was over, if he couldn't support me in my hour of need, I absolutely didn't want him. In the long term it was a good decision as I met a wonderful guy x

sorry you had a shit ex
did u have the abortion sorry
how did you feel after as I’m like you was x

Have the abortion. Think of yourself and the baby
At 7 weeks it shouldn't be surgical anyway

If I remember correctly, upto 9 weeks it's a pill you take. Sorry you have to make this decision. Its shit I know

I did have an abortion in the end around 8 weeks. It was the right decision for myself and my family but it definitely wasn't easy.

Best of luck to you, I know it is tough x

I feel ok with my decision. I still think about what might of been, but life would have been so difficult

As much as you want this baby, you have already explained why you would not be able to cope. It is definitely your decision to make and no one should be trying to force you one way or another.

Hi OP, it sounds like you have a so much on and enough in life to cope with. How about focussing on yourself and your little girl ? Be the best mummy you can for your current baby. Maybe speak to your GP about how you’re feeling.

PS it’s not down to your 23 year son to ever help you raise your own kids.

I would say have the abortion but make the GP aware and get support. Wishing you well.

This.

Good luck with your decision OP. I wish you the best.

OP. I think you need to make this choice for you and your little girl. She is still so young and it sounds like you're already finding life hard with your mental health. Your partner is a waste of space for making you feel like you have to. But equally you need to think about what life would be like if you keep the pregnancy. Your son is 23 and should not be supporting his mum. That is unfair on him.

Abortions are difficult but you will get over it. You might not get over having a baby and being alone with 2 under 2.

I went for my appointment today it was hard and I want to say thank you to you all for your words of advice and support xx it means so so much x

Well done for taking a step. It is hard but the responsible thing to do for your DC and you.

Thinking of you today xx don't beat yourself up over this decision. It's so difficult, so challenging and you did it for the right reasons. You are one strong woman x

Hi @ShyLionesss I have been exactly where you are so understand how conflicted you feel. In the end, I made the best decision for my family, sadly, I had to bear the burden. I have accepted my decision now, but, don't underestimate how you may feel in the coming weeks. Look after yourself.