IVF and depression

[Blubelll]

Between my new job and going through IVF I feel like I can't cope.

I feel so depressed most days and I'm running out of energy. It takes everything I have to get up in the morning and get myself to work. I took a new job a few months ago and whilst it has long term career prospects if I work hard, it's such a difficult, full on job and I don't feel like I'm managing with it.

At the same time me and my fiance are going through IVF using donor sperm. It's been a long, horrible process which the NHS has made worse than it needed to. I've just gone through my first transfer so am now in the two week wait but I can't help but think the worst that it hasn't been successful. If it doesn't work how am I supposed to get through multiple rounds?

I know I need to be eating as healthy as possible during this process but I feel so anxious half the time and low the other half that I'm finding food in general very difficult.

I had a fleeting thought last night that if this doesn't all work out then it would be OK because I could find a way to just not be around any more. I'm not going to do anything, but it felt equally scary that I had that thought, and relief that there might be a way not to feel like this any more.

Does your fertility clinic offer counselling? I had counselling during my IVF. They cycles are very stressful, anxiety inducing, mixed with the hormones and emotions it's brutal. You need to really be kind to yourself. Priorities your wellbeing and mental health. If you need to go off sick to do that then do it.

Hey @Blubelll how are you doing? Have you spoken to the gp about how you’re feeling? I had a similar situation earlier this year (not ivf though) and spoke to my go who was quite frankly brilliant, she offered to sign me off work, which I didn’t end up doing, but almost knowing someone took me seriously really helped.

I hope you’re doing ok, please post here if you need to chat.

Hi @Blubelll, sorry you're having such a tough time. I have some understanding as my own fertility and ivf journey led to me having a bit of a mental health crisis earlier this year. I'm now on antidepressants and honestly it's made a huge difference - the situation still sucks but I don't feel consumed by it in the way I did. Please talk to your GP and consider a bit of time off work if th at might help. Wishing you all the best for this transfer.

Thanks to everyone for the replies. Unfortunately my transfer wasn't successful so I'm not feeling particularly good. I convinced myself it would happen and feel like I set myself up too much. I don't know how people get through 2,3 4 more rounds when it hurts enough the first time.

My clinic does offer counselling, I had one session last week before our pregnancy test but feel like it would be better to go for more now we got a negative result. I know I need to do something because I haven't felt this low in years.

Sorry to hear that @Blubelll 😞 It’s hard not to get hopes up I think. The counselling does sound like a good option, try and take some time out for yourself to process things if you can. Easier said than done I know.

I'm so sorry @Blubelll. It's so so hard to go through.

Try the counsellor again, and remember that if you don't click with them you can find another one outside of the clinic. It's about finding what works for you.

It's ok to take some time to grieve, thinking of you