Should I reach out to him or just leave it alone ?

[Peaches92]

Hi everyone I have posted on here before and people were not so nice so I’m hoping to get a bit more friendly advice this time haha.
So I have a 13 month old daughter with my ex and recently just gave birth 7days ago to his son. With our second child he was always very clear he didn’t want another baby etc and didn’t want me to keep him but I decided to because I couldn’t not. And I am glad I did but I am finding things now very difficult. My birth was not the nicest and I had asked him to come but obviously he didn’t so I did it alone, and the baby got stuck by his shoulders but thankfully everything is ok.

so anyway I obviously let my ex know I’d had the baby even though he’s not taken any interest by sending him one photo and all he replies was a thumbs up emoji and have left it at that. I feel a lot of guilt for the fact my baby hasn’t met his dad and also for our daughter because he is avoiding seeing all of us because he doesn’t want to meet the new baby and I feel like a really bad mum even though I’m doing my best of the situation. Should I try and get him to meet him for their sakes or is it better to leave well alone now ?
also we live in the same town and I know a lot of people who he does so will probably bump into him at some stage

I’d more likely feel guilt that by procreating with this cretin it meant that my child would have him as a father!

Be very grateful he doesn’t want anything to do with your children as let’s be honest… he won’t exactly be a positive addition to their lives

but DO make sure you get every last penny from him that you’re entitled to

Let it go. Just organize CMS. If he wants to meet the kid later he can organise that himself.

It's quite clear he wants nothing to do with you or the children. Leave him be, move on with your life and stop trying to force a bond with this waste of space.

Do you have other more supportive people in your life OP?

He has decided fatherhood is not for him. Asshole. Better to.be with one interested parent than with two where one isn't bothered. Do u have a positive mske in your circle who they can.interact with regularly? Make sure he pays all he should. If u run into him hold ur head high.

My parents are really good and have come round a few times to help me with things like shopping as I’ve not felt the most well since having him and emotionally as well and a couple of close friends too thank you for asking and I hope this feeling of guilt goes away :(

In an ideal world you'd want your baby to have 2 involved parents but you can't change this man. I think it would be better for you to lean into the relationships that are supportive at least for now rather than trying to make him care. For now you and your DC need love and support wherever it comes from.

He's proving himself to be the worst possible father and YOU'RE feeling guilty? In the nicest possible way give your head a wobble.

I try and get him to meet him for their sakes
How though? You can't physically drag him (illegal), you can't do a sit in on his doorstep (illegal), you can't keep sending texts to guilt trip him (illegal - harassment), or get a judge to do a court order (out of their remit).

Based on the actual fact you cannot make him it's time to face the reality that he doesn't want to know you, the baby or his daughter. So claim cms for both and start living your life as a single parent to two babies.

i always wonder about these threads whether it’s more the case that the Op wants the ex in her life

because it’s unfathomable that these men would be a good addition to any child’s life