Hypnotherapy for fear of death? I really need help.

[oberst]

I have always had a fear of death; I know this is common. Now and again I'd have this horrid fleeting thought but it would go away and maybe come back a few months down the line.

But since my BIL suddenly died in March, it is consuming me. It's really bad. I can't sleep at night as it's all I think about. Which in turn is making me feel awful in the day time. The anxiety it gives me is the worst I have ever experienced.

To the point where even sometimes if I touch my collar bone, I think about my body after death. It sounds so mad I know.

I keep having what I think are mild panic attacks, and the other day it last most the day. I couldn't do anything. And the horrid feeling in my chest just wouldn't budge.

I really don't want to take sertraline or anything else like that. But curious if anyone has tried hypnosis? I am very sceptical but I'm getting desperate.

I can't let this fear of death ruin my life. It's ridiculous. I'm 35 and mother of 2. I'm exhausted. Any advice would help thank you.

I tried it for a phobia that had affected me for years. It was so bad I couldn’t sleep, and was having hallucinations about it. I had about six seasons of hypnotherapy and it really helped. I don’t think about it any more, and if something pops up it just doesn’t phase me at all. It made a huge difference to me.

Have you narrowed down what it is you're actually afraid off? Is it pain or the process of dying, some sort of afterlife, missing out on life, or something else?
To me, death must be something like the time before we are born, so nothing to fear.

I am just so scared of dying! The thought of not being here anymore, it petrifies me. I want to live forever.

As a remedial hypnotist I can tell you that it does work very well for phobias of all sorts. Not everyone (about 10% of people) responds to hypnosis/hypnotherapy so make sure whoever you go to offers a free initial consultation to make sure it will work for you.

Just reread my post and it sounds like only 10% respond to hypnosis - I meant to say 10% of people don't, therefore 90% of people do! 😬

OP you’re not ready to die yet. That’s normal for a healthy person of 35. But your mind changes over the years. It isn’t the same now as it was when you were 5. It’s changed and you understand things differently now. Like for example you couldn’t have coped with childbirth at 5 but you can cope with it at 35.

Death is the same. You change until you’re able to cope with it. You can’t handle it now but when the time comes you’ll be different. You need to trust that when your time comes, your mind will have changed and will be ready for it. There’s no way you can understand right now how you’ll feel at the time, you’re just torturing yourself by trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Put it out of your mind until it’s your time. Your mind isn’t ready for it yet.

It's getting so out of control. Every single night I lay here with my chest pounding. I'm not sure I can actually afford hypnotherapy I didn't realise it was so expensive and could take up to 6 sessions too.

I think I'll need to see doctor and admit defeat with medication.

What have you been quoted for hypnotherapy? (if you don't mind me asking).

OP, a few things:

I would consider your general health overall. Ask for bloods to be taken and check to see if there might be other reasons for the pounding chest etc.

Secondly, this was triggered by a bereavement, and I'm sorry for your loss. It could be that you may benefit from some talk therapy or counselling. Again, GP can direct you to this or you can self refer if you're in E&W.

Thirdly these kind of problems can be tricky and often need a variety of approaches - you could also self refer for CBT and look into EMDR which may be useful for a specific anxiety. But I'd also look at lifestyle, exercise, diet, thinking habits (try 'feeling good' by Dr Burns).

Lastly, sometimes mortality is best explored through oblique approaches - philosophy, what some people call 'spirituality', creative activity.

Just keep at it. Your body is trying to communicate with you! You will work this out.

Wow that's the best explanation I've ever heard about this.

OP. When I turned 40 I was consumed by thoughts of dying too. I was very down about it, my self esteem took a beating too.

It only lasted a short while, but it is a horrible thought process to have.

I don't have any advice but it is not unusual to think like this and it will pass and you will enjoy your children's childhoods. Xx

I would try hypnotherapy (or meditation, the two are really quite similar) getting into a suggestive state and reinforcing positive thoughts and learning to deal with or dismiss negative thoughts I think it's a good thing to try before you go down the medication route, which tends to have it's own problems.

Thank you all.

Hypnotherapy is around £80-100 a session where I have looked. I have private health care but unsure if it covers this sort of thing. I think it covers CBT though...

Mostly in the day time I'm fine. It's at night; which is obviously when most people start overthinking!

I am healthy, I have no health concerns apart from my cholesterol came up a little high so I am going back to do a fasted blood test. This was surprising to me as I am vegetarian, active and not overweight etc.

I envy people who believe there is life after death; I think if I could believe it would help me so much. But I definitely do not think that and I am very black and white with my thought process anyway.

I just don't want to die! I want to live forever. It terrifies me thinking I am going to die. Even if I die of old age I think god, that'll come round so fast. It's a horrid thought.

If you can get CBT on your private Healthcare I'd use that before spending money.

I would look into ferritin, B vitamin deficiencies and pernicious anemia, especially if you are a vegetarian. Some of the side effects of these deficiences include anxiety.

It's quite possible/common to have a deficiency while being generally healthy.

111.wales.nhs.uk/encyclopaedia/a/article/anaemia,vitaminb12andfolatedeficiency

Also, CBT can be really good, quick, and effective so I do rec looking into that.

I'd echo others in trying CBT if your health insurance covers it, and if that doesn't help you change the way you think then look again at hypnotherapy (BTW, it doesn't need to cost that much and definitely doesn't need 6 sessions).

Hi Oberst,
I hope you are feeling better. I listened to this podcast yesterday and it gave a beautiful take on it.
https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-197