Help please - (TW) Strategies for fighting suicidal thoughts

[SunOnTheRiver]

I’m battling suicidal thoughts which come in waves of despair. They scare me and I don’t want to act on them but feel like it is only a matter of time.
Does anyone have an advice or suggestions for strategies which have helped them get rid of (or at least reduce) these awful thoughts and feelings please?
I am trying gratitude and going for walks which does help to some extent. I already have good support from a therapist and a pysvhiatrist, although I feel that they are getting fed up with me and only really bothered about keeping me alive if at all.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Firstly, breathe.
I'm no expert but I get intrusive thoughts that I find very distressing. I'm afraid of them but I almost find it less scarier to let them 'play out' and then say, that didn't happen, it won't- I won't let it, they are just thoughts and thinking about it does not make it happen. This might be incorrect advice, so please reach out to a person you can talk to, perhaps a GP.

Thoughts are simply sensations+images+voices. Knowing that might allow you to change the narrative, by breaking the thought down into it's component parts and altering it.

So the mental image - change it to what you can see right now; maybe the sky, an ant by your foot, your screensaver. Really concentrate on the colour, the texture, the smallest detail. Look from another angle - how does the picture change?

The internal voice - change it to the last time someone said 'thank you' to you or an uplifting speech from your favourite movie, the song that means a lot to you, or just the noises you can hear at the moment.

The sensation - the thought will have triggered your fight or flight response so do an exaggerated stretch, roll your neck, point your toes - anything that will release the tension.

And have a look at this video about what happens in your body when you're under stress. Knowing what's happening and that it's all completely normal is very reassuring;

When my DD was suffering with suicidal ideation, self harming and wanting to die, we did a safety plan with her psychologist. It was a single page with things like triggers, early warning signs, things she could do depending on how bad it was, like trying spdcific distractions or calling certain help lines with numbers written down, people she could tell for support. We also saw our GP and increased her medication.

Personally before I got too disabled to do so I always found running a good way to pull myself out of a bad place, but that was anxiety as opposed to suicidal thoughts. Walking wasn't intense enough for me as a distraction. I had suicidal thoughts.for a while after I got sick, then overwhelming panic attacks and.PND after mg youngest was born. Medication was what got me through that. Now I focus on my kids and how much they need me, they have SN snd ex is abusive, they'd fall through the cracks without.me and.my DD probably would kill herself if I was gone and.she had to live with her dad full time. Find anything you can to hold on to, to keep you here.

Thanks
I’m a bit too lardy for running at the moment but I could start the C25K program again.
I don’t have anyone who needs me to stay around so that does make me wonder what is the point of struggling on.