Autism? Puberty!?

[bitterandtwist]

Without going into lots of detail (mainly to save you all!), has anyone had any experience of their prepubescent child (daughter. Rising Y7) changing quite significantly at this age? No 'external influences' (internet monitored), no evidence of bullying/nastiness other than the general Y6 unpleasantness from time to time. Has lost a grandparent this year (not close, but it did shake her faith in the world). Just had a weekend away which she usually loves: lots of my uni friends' kids - a year ago she got stuck in - and she really floundered and sought space away from them. She is anxious/anxious about high school - her primary experience has been overwhelmingly positive. I've wondered (but only quite recently) whether she is autistic (I'm a teacher and have taught in SEN schools before) and masks a lot. Or is being a prepubescent girl possibly really just a lot. She is - more often than not - very kind and very lovely. She says she is really wanting to hold onto her childhood. We talk a lot.

Other than being able to diagnose, I'm well-versed in ASD through work. I'm just wondering whether this is possibly a phase we're going through!

I suggest joining autistic girls network and autistic girls network group on Facebook to help you determine if your dd is autistic. Under files, there’s a couple of documents which will also help you. They also have a website. The book ‘Nurturing your autistic young person’ by Cathy Wassell who runs autistic girls network also helped me to understand my dd who was masking. Although I had wondered on and off if she is autistic, I only realised when she was 14 and in burnout.

Op if you've taught in sen schools you more than know what to look out for. As a parent of a sen child too many people are assuming asd these days. If she's going into year 7 she's probably nervous and hormonal. I know I was at that age

I'm autistic undiagnosed. I went to a really hectic event at the weekend and took some earplugs. I was finding it overwhelming and put them in for a bit - omg the difference! After a short break I was able to participate again normally.

I think this needs to be completely normalised in interactions. Sometimes it can be really simple things like the sunlight is glaring and the noise is too much.

Age 11 to 14 seems to be the worst age for attitude and thinking the world revolves around them I have to say. I've banned the phrase 'why should I' and he'll get his phone back somewhere in the vicinity of his 30th birthday.

I've just started being extra strict around manners and reminding that I don't do favours to people who are rude to their siblings and he isn't too old for a slapped backside and that seems to have curbed the worst of it.

We do see a common pattern of autistic girls without learning disabilities doing well at primary and no one noticing their social communication differences, albeit there will be subtle signs - perfectionism is a common one. These girls usually get no enhanced transition to secondary school and sadly often very quickly fall apart over year 7 or 8, so it is a common time when wheels start to come off for undiagnosed autistic girls.

However, that doesn't mean your DD is definitely autistic. What has led you to begin to wonder? What signs were you seeing?

Year 7 can be a not particularly easy year, lots of changes and adjustments to be made. They are often very tired especially in the first term.

From my own experience of having teens currently - a child towards becoming a teenager you can expect varying degrees of mood changes, distancing, self centeredness, some anxiety at times etc, however it can still be a shock seeing the changes. Teenagers are not known for being easy, and they will push your buttons at times. But it sounds like you already talk a lot.

I’ve bumped into a couple of acquaintances with daughters aged around 12 that the parents have decided their child are now adhd and or autistic because they’ve started not wanting to get out of bed in the morning or don’t feel like going to school etc and that’s not to take away from children that genuinely are but you can loose the label of teenager when you come out of the adolescent age whereas it’s not quite the same if you’re told it’s autism so I would say not a path to rush down necessarily, but you know your child best.

My DD is now 15 and was accepted on to the waiting list for an autism assessment earlier this year, but we have warned that although she has been triaged as a priority due to her mental health struggles, the wait for an appointment is still likely to be over two years. She also seemed to cope well at primary school, but year 8/9 at secondary things rather fell apart. We ended up at A&E and an emergency appt with CAMHS which was pretty distressing for DD and all of us.

I found the process of filling in the social and communications questionnaire as part of applying for the assessment helped focus my mind, especially giving practical examples. I first wondered about neurodiversity when she was around 10, but we then went into covid times, she was in year 6 and 7 for lockdown and I thought at the time that some of the signs I was seeing was a reaction to that.

I found reading books about parenting autistic teens useful - think I've read the one already mentioned. And whatever the outcome of any future diagnosis, I focus on ways to make DD's life better, and this includes regular contact with the school SENCO and finding her activities outside school where she can meet others who share her interests.