It's grim.

[Gettingbysomehow]

Every year at the end of July and August I feel the worst I do all year mentally.
I have CPTSD and usually manage ok because I've had it for years. I just get my head down and work through - I'm full time medical professional.
Work helps me self regulate and we have air conditioning.
I'm off with a slipped disc and can't move very much, on waiting list for MRI scan for months, they just keep saying they are very busy.
So I haven't got work to regulate my emotions and as soon as the weather gets really hot bang there goes the CPTSD, probably because the incidents that caused it took place in a hot country.
I love autumn, spring, winter, I mostly feel fine then.
I'm going nuts here, the voices I hear sometimes have come back in force, the anxiety is crippling, every thing bad that ever happened to me is living in my head right now.
I was referred back to the mental health team 3 weeks ago I've heard nothing.
I'm trying to keep my mind off it by watching films, making crafts etc but not sure how much longer I can stand this. I'm on meds.
Does anyone else find summer makes them worse or is it just me?

You can get SAD in summer as well as winter but its much less common. I suffer in the winter or soon as there is a gloomy day in fact. I'm going to buy myself a SAD lamp end of next month ready for the winter.

Really, I didnt know that. Ive never heard of summer SAD. I think I need a walk in freezer 😘

As a remedial hypnotist I work with PTSD and trauma and this is how I describe it;

When something bad happens, a part of our mind gets the job of working out why it happened so we can work out how to avoid a similar event in the future.

However, when we suffer a traumatic event (or a series of events, as in your case) in our lives - especially early trauma - there isn’t always an answer to that question. Trauma can be so unexpected and undeserved that in truth we didn’t do anything wrong to cause it, and certainly couldn’t have avoided it.

The need to make some sort of sense of the experience can often lock us into that moment. A part of our subconscious becomes unable to move on until we can fully understand it and put it to rest in our minds hence the flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and anxiety.

Both remedial hypnosis and EMDR are very effective at unlocking the mind and putting the memory of the trauma where it belongs - in the past and not part of your future.

Thank you, that explains it very well. I never did finish therapy because raking it all up again made me feel so dreadful.
I should really but it will have to be private therapy as the NHS is too clunky to use right now.

Have you ever read Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker? Give it a go if you haven't.